Inane distractions

Recently,  the cable through which my house receives both TV and internet had a major fault.  It lasted 4 days. 
...and I nearly lost my marbles.

Part of the reason was that I needed to log onto the work system to download the latest files for school, but part of the reason was that I have come to rely on the television to provide an inane, background distraction whenever my brain wandered in to places I'd rather it not revisit.

I told two friends about how much I had come to rely on the television to provide me with entertainment and distraction from being lonely and grieving. ....

Both friends are highly articulate women who are well read, interesting, and intelligent.

One of them knew exactly what I was talking about.  She agreed that TV could indeed provide a valuable distraction that was great for whenever you were both tired and emotional to take your mind elsewhere for a while and allow it to rest.

The other one suggested that I go read a book instead because TV is "just a crutch"....

Guess which one of my two friends is another widow.......

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Sometimes all that I need to go from feeling low to feeling OK is half an hour of watching Stephen Fry on QI or Doctor Who.  I need to distract the part of my brain that  deals with language and memory ... and with less effort than that required to read and comprehend  a chapter of a book.  (Having said that, I still read each day, but its not something that calms me down.  Rather, it is something I do when I am already calm.)

I can and do use other distractions frequently, but for me, the winner on an evening when I am feeling lonely and sad and angry that Greg had the hide to bloody well DIE on me is TV.

Am I alone in this?

Changes

What follows is my own opinion.  I know it is not everyone's and I am truly glad to live in a country where I am free to vote for whomever I wish.  I am grateful to have a vote when so many women are denied this right.  ...and I also appreciate the freedom to express my opinions here.




Well, we've had a bit of a change over here in the past week..... there is a new Federal government and a new Prime Minister.



...and the emotions of the day, both in the queue at the polling booth (a really rude, racist man yelled at an elderly Asian lady, I just gave him my best teacher stare which seemed to shut him up .... and then later he followed the kids and I back to our car in order to hurl abuse at us) and the certainty that we were headed towards a new political era  ....  left me unable to calm down at the end of the day.

I was in tears as I watched the tally unfold. I was pacing the room and shouting at the television.   Really mature.  But really worried about the future of my country.

To add insult to injury, out voting system in the senate has a loophole which seems to have allocated seats to minor, single-issue, ridiculous parties that have an miniscule percentage if the primary vote, but preference deals have seen them somehow gain seats in the upper house. Motoring Enthusiasts Party anyone?  What about the Sporting Party?  Both of these single-issue groups have been handed seats in the upper house. 

It all makes me feel sad and worried about the future of my country.  It seems to me that we are taking a giant leap back 50 years.

...and I had no Greg to commiserate with me. Nobody to remind me that we survived years of this party in government before.  To tell me that things might not actually be as bad as I think they will be (he was ever the optimist but I can't help but focus on the climate-skeptic, right-wing, compassionless characteristics that seem to underpin their policies).  

I know I will pull myself out of this downwards dip and I know that I need to distract myself from thinking too hard about it all.

But for the time being, I shall mope around and kick things 'cause sometimes, that is just what I need to do.

I just hope Greg lets me know he is commiserating with me before I break a toe.....


 

distraction

Just a FEW of my daily doses of chaos. <3

So, I totally dropped the ball last week.

I literally went through the whole day in chaos and finally when the kids were down and I had a second I realized that I was supposed to post here. Oops.

Life has been nothing short of crazy lately. We've done so much traveling, the kids had class parties, graduations, and we are now in the middle of a flourishing business of hand made pallet projects which we did not expect, but are loving and working on getting our online store up and running, we're preparing for multiple family company staying with us over the next couple of weeks, Steve is awaiting news about a potential job that he's excited about, it just so happened to be my son's birthday last week...the list goes on and on. On top of that, we should know tomorrow if we are having a boy or a girl! Eeek!

You'd think keeping busy in chaos would distract me from matters of the heart, and to some degree it does, but nothing can keep me from remembering what's important in life. Even on the days where I slip back into my old habits, at the end of the day I readjust because life has taught me not to waste time dwelling on things that aren't important. Stress, frustration, other people's stupidity, busy schedules....these things are inevitable. But thankfulness and perspective is a choice.

I saw a quote the other day that read "If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders." This struck me as I realized no amount of business kept my mind from wondering...and this is where I know my heart is:

My heart is with my children.
It is with my marriage.
It is with my friends.
It is with the life growing inside me.
It is sometimes with my insecurities about myself.
It is often on a beach somewhere listening to ocean....

And my heart is definitely still, and always will be with Jeremy. No matter where life takes me, it never takes me far from him. The world can't take away what we shared together.