Saturday, July 23, 2011



One of the things I started after Michael died was our "Date Night's".

It usually consists of a movie and a five course dinner with wine pairings throughout it.

It's amazing. From "Birds" to all three "Lord of the Ring" to "Chocolat" I sit there with an empty sets next to me and savor every moment.

But, as I've embraced life once more, I've found time sailing faster and faster by. So when I saw that there was a Harry Potter Feast for the last part of "The Deathly Hollows" I didn't blink an eye to buy the ticket.

As the film was winding down and the fourth course was being served a prominent sense of pure perfection and bliss took me over (equating to watery eyes at a very non-watery eye moment).

I sat there and soaked every second of this feeling in, reminding myself that it is always attainable, that it never left me, that there is so much beauty and love in different forms that take over your being to remind you why you're alive.

I turned to the empty seat next to me and placed my hand on it as the credits started to roll in.

I smiled some more and knew that all was right in the world at that moment. He was there like he always is, never leaving my side, never letting me forget that I not only live for him but for me too.

Lord Voldemort: Why do you live?
Harry Potter: Because I have something worth living for.


  1. Thank you Taryn.
    Love this.
    I try always to remember "i have to live because he died and desperately wanted his life."
    I live despite the grief and loneliness.
    I live because I have something to live for and that is to experience as much as I can.
    I live to keep his memory alive with my children and grandchildren.

    I love that you have found those moments.
    I have something worth living for and that is because I believe someday, in some way I don't understand I will reconnect with Jim.
    I don't mean in the "heaven" big staircase white cloud way.
    And if I am wrong - then it is even more important that while I can - I give as much love as I am able.
    Then my life will have meaning. It will have been worth it.

  2. Thank youbTaryn and anonymous. I live because he died and desperately wanted his life - beautiful words. That is why I live. To pass his spark and mine into our children. So they have the zest for life he had. I LIVE because I have something to live for!

  3. Just beautiful.

  4. Thank you all for the powerful reminder... As Thomas Campbell said "To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die." My heart is full of the beautiful love I shared with my husband and precious memories I have to share with our children and grandchildren. Right after John's death I too felt as though I wasn't sure what I had to live for... I felt guilty that I was still living knowing how very much my husband wanted to live. After much prayer, I know in my heart that John would want me to live and love our family for both of us. Through me, they will know and feel his love for them. My purpose is clear and he would be proud.