As Long as We Both Shall Live.....

Well....we did it! February 10th, 2012 - Carl and I officially tied the knot in front of our friends and family (and Elvis too!). I know I've said before that I can hardly believe it, but I still can't quite grasp it. Craziness!

Carl's daughter K was the flower girl and maid of honor, and G walked me down the aisle (so freakin adorable) and then served as Carl's best man. It was just the four of us up there, and it seemed pretty perfect to me. It was the merging of two little families into one.

During the rehearsal the night before, I heard our vows and was suddenly struck by the meaning of the words and my painful understanding of them. It was so real suddenly, and so scary. Not that I had sudden doubts, because I had no doubts. But, it was suddenly clear to me that I was actually rolling the death dice again. "As long as we both shall live..." Who says those words and really thinks about death? You know who does. A widow does.

The fantastic thing is that as I said the words the next day, I didn't have a single doubt in my mind or in my heart. I meant them. Even knowing the potential price, Carl is worth it. I know I'll check his breathing, worry about his health, and be the eternal pessimist - waiting for something bad to happen. But I'll temper those thoughts with the other lessons I've learned - life can be painfully short, suck as much joy out if it as you can in the time you've got. Don't waste a minute. Like I said, even knowing the potential price, Carl is worth it. I'll take as many days/weeks/years with him as I can get.