“He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe.”
-Marcus Aurelius
-Marcus Aurelius
It's a weird feeling.
Harmony.
Harmony with life and this sensation...this awareness, that at least at this very moment, you have no qualms with the world.
Of course Michael being dead is a constant that I'll always and forever wish I could change...but once you stop fighting the fate you've been handed...when you just give in to its reality...it can happen.
Harmony.
Calm.
Balance.
And who knows...like me...it might freak you the heck out, because it's been such a foreign feeling for so long.
And like most foreign things, you might find yourself fighting it, because it's not what you have known since your love's death.
You may find yourself swimming up current.
Don't.
Put your hands up and let the flow take you. Swoop you gently in the direction your heart always had the coordinates to.
And feel harmony.
If only for a day. A minute. A second.
And show yourself it is possible once more.
"Put your hands up and let the flow take you. Swoop you gently in the direction your heart always has the coordinates to."
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Taryn. I needed to hear this and be reminded.
Thank you so much for this.
ReplyDeleteI just got back from walking my dog. The sun is shining. The temperature is perfect.
This is March in Canada and I can't remember a day this beautiful at this time of year.
The birds are singing and things are already turning a bit green.
I was walking along - in peace and in calm. . . and then my mind kept wanting to take me back to all the things "I should have done - we should have done - why didn't I tell him more - how come we didn't take more walks - . . . " For a good fifteen minutes I took my calm and started thrashing around, making waves, feeling a rising panic - all ready to drown out the harmony and the peace.
Then I looked down at my puppy. He was walking so well, so happy to be out of doors, just in harmony with me and my pace of walking and I thought - how long am I going to give up the beauty to torture myself with things I can't change?
In truth I don't have a lot of regrets. We had a wonderful love, friendship, marriage. We had over a year to say I love you - a million times. To spend time with each other. To say again and again -Thank you for the gift of your life, of our life together.
I stopped and thought how he would love this little dog, this beautiful day, this peace and for the last half hour of my walk I did too.
thanks for the reminder.
Perfect.