Grasp

I just have to write it out.

This feeling.

This vibration running through my veins.

It may only last a little while. Who knows. I may wake in the morning and it be gone.

But right now...

As my fingers push each button down....racing to capture this moment in time.

It's perfect.

It's as if he's sitting across the table from me, with his warm and kind smile greeting me, and his heart reminding me that ours beat as one, and Clair de lune plays in the background, and I know, as I stare at the empty chair in front of me...he is not there....but he is.

We are.

I am.

I know the song will end...I can not stop it.

But right now...I will let myself be enveloped by this reminder that even after the most tragic of circumstances...even when life proves that it will and can go on in the most beautiful of non-explanatory of patterns...I will feel it...

Feel as if I did when my lips met his.

Feel as if I did when he stood right next to me holding my hand.

Feel as if the world was ours to conquer.

And I'll remember that it is.

And that he's still holding my hand.

And even when his lips can meet mine no more....

I'll be reminded of it's feeling for eternity...

Empowered by it.

And the moment that sparked it all will fade,

and yet something in my heart reminds me that I can.

I will.

I must...

Live to feel it when it strikes me once more...at the most random time....and place....but always with the notion that it is he that causes it...he that allows me to find the beauty of life.