I want to be reminded of all that is wonderful, all that fills my "screen", all that keeps me going. I want to click the "refresh" button, in hopes that the blank areas will "load" in those days and moments where I feel that all is gone.
It is only when I have sat and stared at that "idle screen", truly believing that the page will never fully be filled with all of it's contents, that out of nowhere, the refresh button is pushed.
I want to scream at the "screen" I call my life, for dragging me through so much, making me tear and break down all of my being, to then "refresh" what is the essence of who I am. But I can't. Because in the end, all is "refreshed", all reminds me of why I can stare at that not fully loaded screen. I can always remember what it looks like when it's all there, and look forward to the permanent "refresh" that will reign again.