We write about widowhood as we live it. Together we examine the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of life as a widowed person. The views expressed here are those held by each individual author. We take no credit for their brillance; we just provide them with a forum for expressing their widowed journey in words that are uniquely their own.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The Value of a Friend (part One Million and One...)
These are the faces of a few of the women who celebrated 40 with me in Vegas... interestingly enough, all of them had read last week's blog and were still brave enough to go! Thanks guys! I'm not usually as black as last week, and I think I stirred up a few worries with that post. It is what it is, and most of the people in my life get it, or at least want to. I am very blessed.
I've been asked over the past few years about "how do I help my friend" issues regarding grief and loss. I guess if you've experienced it, people think you'll know how to help someone else. It's true, I do have a good idea of the things not to do (don't tell a widow that you know she'll find someone and be happy again at the funeral....). But what to do? I'm still at a loss in some ways too. Being there is the best way to help.
Doing something thoughtful without asking first
Understanding how hard it is to move forward and being there to jump off the curbs
Going with them to Vegas even when it sounds like they might be a downer... ;)
Jumping on a plane on a moments notice because you just "should be there"
Remembering the days that are hard and being willing to be there anyway
Celebrating the smallest accomplishments (dishwasher repair for instance :)
Those are the things that friends do. I have great friends.
Soooo, we survived the trip and it was a blast! What a great group of women to spend three rather inebriated days with! You know what they say, what happens in Vegas gets posted on facebook...