much the same way
it did the year before
(in a bar),
but i have to say
that the 2010 version
was even better
than 2009.
why?
several reasons.
first, i got to
catch up with
the folks i met
last year.
so much had changed
for all of us, and
i got the sense
that even the reason
we were there
had changed.
it's not that we
didn't need the
support as much as we
did the first year,
but we were
better off than
the year before because
of our attendance
in 2009.
we had created
a close knit
support group for ourselves
and this was not only
an opportunity
to see each other
again, but it was
also a chance
for us to give
back and help get
others to the place
we find ourselves in.
and it's not that we've
"gotten over" the
death of our partners
(because that will never happen),
it just that we
made a connection
with folks
like us.
and that's invaluable
when the world
is at it's darkest.
so to that end,
i was thrilled to
see my friends
reaching out
beyond the social group
we created
last year,
and embracing new members
of this awful club.
and when my new
friend emily told me
that the event
was "a life changer"
well, it confirmed that
camp widow is succeeding.
and the credit
goes to everyone in
attendance, but especially
to michele for
actually putting some
actions behind her words.
another reason this
year was so much better?
holy shit!
there were 10 times
the number of men
as last year.
don't be too surprised...
there was 1 man
last year (me).
which (of course) means there
were 10 this year.
and to see another 10x
increase next year,
would be amazing,
but i'll temper my
expectations for now.
let's just call the
2010 event
a small step forward
for widowed men...
meeting folks like
david and tom and mitch and chris
and others
made me positive that
someday camp widow
will be a huge
means of support
for more men
in the future.
but we may have
to change the name
to be more inclusive.
i know what
you're thinking...
"camp widowed people"
just doesn't have
the same ring as
"camp widow."
well, i'm sure
michele can come up
with something better.
While on a recent trip I picked up a newspaper in a different state and found an article about this organization. I'm sorry I missed the event in San Diego. I lost Joe 3 years ago. Just 10 days shy of our 20th anniv. He died of leukemia at the age of 48. He was the love of my life. There is not a minute in the day that I don't think about him, but don't have anyone in my life who I can really talk to about it. I don't feel sorry for myself and talking about it doesn't make me sad most of the time, but it does make others sad or uncomforable when I do. I don't know why I'm writing this now. I don't get the blog thing, but for some reason I found you guys. What next?
ReplyDeleteI had such a great time, and learned so much! Love to all my widowed peeps!
ReplyDeleteI also hope that widowers do increase in attendence. I know the experience is lightly different for them, maybe even more difficult, since they are expected to man-up and get over it. I personally believe that when I do decide to have another relationship, it might be best to go with someone who also lost there spouse. I feel like someone who has been through this will get why I still will want to honor my husbands memory. They might get it, because they want to honor their former wife's memory.
ReplyDeleteI too saw a newspaper article on Camp Widow when on a trip to try and keep the walls from closing in on me. My husband passed 8 months ago and I wish I had seen this prior to going. This sounds like what I was really looking for. To be with others who understand and know the loss. I don't have anyone now to connect with and have starting blogging with others through this site. I hope to attend next year.
ReplyDeleteI would love to attend a Camp Widow. How do I find out about it for next year?
ReplyDelete