Thursday, August 12, 2010

camp widow 2010

it started off

much the same way

it did the year before

(in a bar),

but i have to say

that the 2010 version

was even better

than 2009.


several reasons.

first, i got to

catch up with

the folks i met

last year.

so much had changed

for all of us, and

i got the sense

that even the reason

we were there

had changed.

it's not that we

didn't need the

support as much as we

did the first year,

but we were

better off than

the year before because

of our attendance

in 2009.

we had created

a close knit

support group for ourselves

and this was not only

an opportunity

to see each other

again, but it was

also a chance

for us to give

back and help get

others to the place

we find ourselves in.

and it's not that we've

"gotten over" the

death of our partners

(because that will never happen),

it just that we

made a connection

with folks

like us.

and that's invaluable

when the world

is at it's darkest.

so to that end,

i was thrilled to

see my friends

reaching out

beyond the social group

we created

last year,

and embracing new members

of this awful club.

and when my new

friend emily told me

that the event

was "a life changer"

well, it confirmed that

camp widow is succeeding.

and the credit

goes to everyone in

attendance, but especially

to michele for

actually putting some

actions behind her words.

another reason this

year was so much better?

holy shit!

there were 10 times

the number of men

as last year.

don't be too surprised...

there was 1 man

last year (me).

which (of course) means there

were 10 this year.

and to see another 10x

increase next year,

would be amazing,

but i'll temper my

expectations for now.

let's just call the

2010 event

a small step forward

for widowed men...

meeting folks like

david and tom and mitch and chris

and others

made me positive that

someday camp widow

will be a huge

means of support

for more men

in the future.

but we may have

to change the name

to be more inclusive.

i know what

you're thinking...

"camp widowed people"

just doesn't have

the same ring as

"camp widow."

well, i'm sure

michele can come up

with something better.


  1. While on a recent trip I picked up a newspaper in a different state and found an article about this organization. I'm sorry I missed the event in San Diego. I lost Joe 3 years ago. Just 10 days shy of our 20th anniv. He died of leukemia at the age of 48. He was the love of my life. There is not a minute in the day that I don't think about him, but don't have anyone in my life who I can really talk to about it. I don't feel sorry for myself and talking about it doesn't make me sad most of the time, but it does make others sad or uncomforable when I do. I don't know why I'm writing this now. I don't get the blog thing, but for some reason I found you guys. What next?

  2. I had such a great time, and learned so much! Love to all my widowed peeps!

  3. I also hope that widowers do increase in attendence. I know the experience is lightly different for them, maybe even more difficult, since they are expected to man-up and get over it. I personally believe that when I do decide to have another relationship, it might be best to go with someone who also lost there spouse. I feel like someone who has been through this will get why I still will want to honor my husbands memory. They might get it, because they want to honor their former wife's memory.

  4. I too saw a newspaper article on Camp Widow when on a trip to try and keep the walls from closing in on me. My husband passed 8 months ago and I wish I had seen this prior to going. This sounds like what I was really looking for. To be with others who understand and know the loss. I don't have anyone now to connect with and have starting blogging with others through this site. I hope to attend next year.

  5. I would love to attend a Camp Widow. How do I find out about it for next year?