Saturday, August 7, 2010

Step Outside

I'm here at the 2010 Camp Widow in San Diego and having an amazing time thus far.

In the amazing connections I've made in such a short time (it's how we widows work...warp speed), I've been recalling something I've learned in the 3 years since my baby's death, but is brought even more to the forefront in an environment such as this, where growth is 'aplenty.

I read a quote that stated, " It is only once we've stepped outside our comfort zone that we truly start living."

As widows, or for myself in the least, grief was a comfort zone. I chilled out with it, cried with it, drowned myself in it, and leaned on it. Grief was my torn heart's friend. A companion that didn't give back, but fed off the woe like fish to algae.

It was only once I realized that grief was something I could not only survive without, but thrive without, that I did it....I took my first step...outside of the pain, anger, what if's, why me's...and found myself in a place I had almost forgot...a place of happiness.

So as I sit here in my hotel room at 1 in the morning, I challenge you. I challenge you to feel life for the because it feels right...laugh because it rolls out of your lungs...and live because it is what we are made for.

Step outside your comfort zone....I have a money back guarantee it'll be worth it. I'm living it right now as proof. I'm living it because of my fellow widows, my friends and family, and most of all...because Michael. All those things combined are worth more than any grief.


  1. Grief...I've been able to step out of it, pat it on the head, and kiss it good-bye a few times. But a place, a thought, a scent, a sight, can slide me right back into grief before I can say "No!". Then I feel guilty for finding myself there all over again. Guilty for climbing out, guilty for sliding back into grief again, I never seem to win.

  2. Taryn - I am not there yet, but on my way. Living without my husband and best friend for these past 5 months IS outside my comfort zone. But, thank you - I am glad to be reminded that it gets lighter with time and that the pain eases and becomes more comfortable. Enjoy Camp Widow.

  3. There is happiness on the other side of the grieve cycle