“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
-Pablo Neruda
Tonight's just a night that I want to share how grateful I am for the eternal gift that keeps on giving. The one that allows me to be more than my loss and suffering and the ability to rise above and fulfill all my hopes and dreams. The gift that quietly nudges me out of the dark into a bright future. The gift that answers my heart's questions and wraps itself around me when life send a cold front my way.
Tonight, Michael, I want to thank you for choosing me to be the recipient of your love. Never would I had known the true strength and fortitude it held. But you gave it to me, unconditionally, with the knowledge that even when you were gone it would still be securely tucked in my heart, never to leave my side.
When I smile, I am reminded that your love smiles with me.
When I cry, I am reminded that your love will wipe away the tears
When I live, I know that your love is more present than ever.
I just need to share what happened to me today, My John, husband of 40 yrs, died almost 3 yrs ago of cancer. Today I was going to a friend's son's wedding. I sent a gift, reserved a hotel room near the wedding site, etc, etc. All of a sudden it hit me like a whallop of emotion that I couldn't go to this wedding, because it would be my first wedding alone without John. I would be a basket case if I went. I am so often amazed at how deeply buried my true emotions are, until they jump out and slap me. I had no clue that this wedding would be difficult for me to attend. Duh! Thanks, as I needed to share this somewhere. And I'm learning that it really does take significant time to heal from the loss of a beloved spouse. And I need to give myself the grace to do so.
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