What about my days? I get up early, get three kids ready for school, rush off to work – everyday I’m one gapers delay from being late – work until after dinner, drive home, go over the kids homework, do laundry, clean the house, eat dinner, put them to bed, and then I go to bed - without the ability of licking myself. And 365 days of this is equal to 1 year?
I want new math for the widow/widowers of the world. One year of our life should at least be 1.78 years. That will be our base number. From there we can begin computing all the extra time figures: an additional .49 years per child, a full-time job is .73, for every time someone has said to you, “At least you weren't married long, there aren't as many memories”, go ahead and pile on another .31 years to your age. Then another .58 for every family gathering you went to where they completely ignored your spouse even existed, .36 for every movie you had to sit through where the spouse dies, .41 for every friend who stopped calling you, and .27 for every in-law you had to comfort while you were grieving.
We can start calculating the new math from the age we are when our spouse dies. In my case, my wife died when I was 38 years-old and I just turned 42. So when I am walking down the street, I want to walk by a bus stop and hear strangers say: