I've done common therapy ...
The psychologist I saw for over a year was lovely to talk to, had some useful ideas and she confirmed my own suspicion that my mental health is worth bottling ..... but ultimately, this sadness will not lift easily and all the mindfulness and affirmations in the world won't fix it.
But thankfully, I've also stumbled into a form of uncommon* therapy....
...just before he died, Greg gave me my 40th birthday present..... a second hand DSLR Canon camera with three lenses.
....and just before he died I signed up to the 365Project which is a free website where the basic premise is that you take and upload a photo each day.
It took a while for me to return to this project after Greg died, and when I did it was with photos that simply documented our lives.
...and ever so slowly, my photos improved in both content and technique.
I can now look back over the last 2 and a bit years and see that my photographs are increasingly full of colour and joy again..... possibly more colour and joy than I feel .... but proof that for at least part of every day, I have sought beauty around me and captured it in an image.
...and I am thankful for that.
*At no point should it replace quality professional therapy..... but if it can lift your eyes from the floor on even the darkest days, then it as therapy worth doing.