Goodbye for now

Bayor Matthias Cunningham arrived safely on November 23, and he's pretty much awesome in every way possible.

Two writers stepping down in one week?!?

First it was Melinda. Now, it's my turn.

This is very bittersweet for me. I am so incredibly thankful for the platform that Michele has given me to open up my heart and share my journey. I have learned so much just from watching my life unfold in my own words and processing through it, as well as reading alongside the rest of you the posts from the other great writers here.

But the time has come for me to pass the torch. I feel like my heart has been in a good place for a long time now, but there's something that always pulls me back here. Like I needed permission to still grieve and love Jeremy even when other things are going on in life. You all let me do that without question, without judgement, and with complete understanding. I know that there is truly no amount of happiness, success, or good things that can take away the dull ache I have in my heart from the irreplaceable void that Jer left there. He is my love forever, he holds a piece of my heart, my life, my children, and even my future until the day I'm done here. I know now that no one can take that away from me.

My goal has always been to use this outlet to somehow touch other lives who are walking the same horrible path. I pray that I've done that, even just once. But I know that it's time to step aside and let you connect with another writer who might have more to give.  Between the day to day craziness of settling in to our new community after a huge move, trying to keep up with a new house, new jobs, 4 kids with daily homework, a toddler who is more like a tornado...oh, and did I mention I had a baby last week?!? Yea- it gets a little nuts around here. This space has always been an escape and a place for me to regroup and take the time to dig through my own emotions I don't always understand during the week or to work through my grief I sometimes push aside on a daily basis, but I've come to a point where other things need my focus.

So, I babble just to really say thank you. Thank you for being such an encouragement to me. Thank you for honoring my love by allowing me to share pieces of him with you. Thank you for sharing pieces of your loves with me as well in comments, emails, etc. This community really is a special one, and you haven't seen the last of me - I hope to continue to be a guest writer here when needed.

I know that you all will be just as encouraging to our new writer. Amanda will be taking over my day, but we will have a new Tuesday writer....let me introduce Kerryl McGlennon:

Ian and I met on 11 June 2009 after first contact on an on-line dating site and I knew he was going to be the man I would marry the moment I laid eyes on him. Four months later he came to my office, handed me a cactus, and asked me to marry him (he apparently didn’t see the florist over the road – but did find a cactus!). We married on 4 June 2011, celebrating with our 4 month old son, family and friends.

In February 2012 he had heart surgery for a wonky heart-beat, and he got hit with the rarest complication which showed up on March 17, his 46th birthday. After a roller-coaster three months of battling infection and complications on the complication, he passed away on 14 June, ten days after our first wedding anniversary. We managed to fit a lot into three short years.

I’m now raising our son, who is apparently just like his father was as a child in both looks and temperament, and trying to instil in him what was important to Ian (while sometimes being rather miffed Ian got out of dealing with toddler tantrums). And in part of the soul searching aftermath, at 38 I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up, so am studying accounting part-time at university. Although I have to walk this road, I’m incredibly grateful that road is in the country I live in, and I’m walking it at this time in history.

Welcome to this incredible community, Kerryl. I'm sorry you have a reason to be a part of it, but we're so glad you're here.