Four years since you left me.
Suddenly.
Violently.
Bereft.
Nobody could possibly begin to understand the soul connection we had.
Anam Cara.
We two were so closely linked.
...and yes, I know we are still connected.
I have learnt to recognise the signs you send me.
I know you are near.
I know you miss nothing.
I am lucky that intuition comes naturally to me.
You always said that I could "feel" whether people were good or bad.
I can't explain it.
I just "know" things.
Like what you were about to say, or what you were thinking.
Or how my soul knew yours as soon as it saw you, standing there in the backyard of a friend's house.
Or how I knew that we would marry from that first kiss.
Or how I had a premonition of your death, right before your death.
I have realised that you have never left me, that you hear me, that you are actively leading me forward.
... to a new life.
...to the people I needed to meet.
...towards the light.
... Towards hope.
...and my love for you is stronger than ever.
XA
The title "Four Years" stopped me in my tracks. May 8th will be my "4 year" mark as well and everything you've written is so right on. Thank you
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful. I cannot help but feel like i was reading a letter from my own future self 2 years from now... Your intuition and continued relationship with your husband so reminds me of my journey. Its good to know that the new language we speak now will continue for 2 years and for likely all my days. Thank you for this!
ReplyDeleteI had never heard the expression Anam Cara. I'm so glad I took the time to look it up (Google it). My husband was Scotch-Irish, but we had not come across this concept. So glad you introduced me to something new and wonderful. Thank you. He was my Anam Cara, and I believe with all my heart that I was that for him. We were married almost 50 years. The downside of this is that I had little need of friends outside our relationship or my work life. After we retired, we mostly had a circle of two. So my loneliness is devastating. I have reached out to make some new friends, widowed like me. But it is all so difficult. Again, thank you for opening up a new avenue of knowledge to me.
ReplyDelete