Tuesday, March 25, 2014
It's a matter of perspective...
A: I'll be devastated if they don't play
B: I'm sure Mick's more devastated
A: It's all a matter of perspective.
The Rolling Stones were due to play my city on Saturday night just gone and this was one exchange that appeared on my Facebook feed in the first 24 hours of Mick Jagger joining our ranks.
My jaw was on the ground and I thought "I'm pretty certain Mick's grief is greater than your disappointment that the band's not playing".
There seemed to be a whole heap of discussions over the inconvenience the cancellation would cause because of travel and hotel bookings for people to attend the concert, and concern over what would happen to the massive amount of public money that had been spent on this concert as it was meant to be the grand opening event for our upgraded sports ground before competition begins this weekend.
But I saw very little sympathy or empathy towards Mick and the band.
One thing I've gained from my widow experience is greater empathy, and perspective between what's a crisis, disaster or catastrophe versus what is an annoyance, an inconvenience or a disappointment.
For concert-goers and organisers, it's very much the latter.
For Mick, it's the former, and quite frankly, my heart went out to him, not just for his loss, but the circumstances he was in when he learned of L'Wren's passing. They're nothing like my own experiences, but I can now comprehend the impact of the news.
He's away from home on what is, for all intents and purposes, a business trip. Thankfully he has old friends with him for support, but he is away on business.
He's the focus of the media and social media commentary which was probably difficult to escape, and of course there's all the attempts to get photos of him in his grief.
Private plane or not, he had a very, very long flight to get from Perth, Australia to New York. The one up-side... the flight would effectively be a media block-out.
He's probably feeling no end of guilt over being away from home, and yes, for disappointing fans. The poor guy was probably torn in all directions, and I wouldn't be surprised if the call to cancel the shows at this time was made by either band mates or management.
We all have experiences of comments that scream the speaker has no comprehension of the impact the loss of a partner/spouse has on a person. What got me was the impression in social media that Mick would not be suffering because of what he does.
That he is somehow inhuman.
And the complete inability of people to even consider the situation from Mick's perspective.