Not even, and especially, death.
Not many people get that, but I know that each of you does.
It doesn't mean that I sit around planning my demise .... I don't.
It also doesn't mean that I don't enjoy life now ..... I do -- a lot of the time.
But I have such an amazing sense of peace when I think about leaving this earth ... about finally reaching my final destination, which I believe is heaven.
At first I wanted to go there because I know Jim is there.
Now it's not even that. It's going somewhere that will be oh, so much better than anything I can imagine here.
It's knowing that this is not the end but only a temporary stop.
It's knowing that everything can change in the blink of an eye.
It's knowing that love is not something to be wasted .... not for one second.
It's a calmness and a waiting.
And learning to live again while I wait.
It's taken me a while, but I am slowly learning to wait ... and to live again.
At least it seems to me that it's taken a while.
I guess it's all in your perspective.
I like this. Jesus said that he was going to prepare a place for us. Sounds like you are ready, whenever.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! It is a comfort to me to read how there are women who share my thoughts about this new life I am leading. When I do feel myself getting fearful I just have to remind myself of what I have survived and I know I can get through anything. Peace to you.
ReplyDeletethank you for your post. It hits home for me. I am new to this thing called widowhood. I haven't accepted it yet, I still fight, yell and scream thinking that I can have what I want if I just throw a big enough tantrum. I am waiting too. With my love is where I belong. I do not fear death either. I lived with it, faced it, fought it and lost. I wonder tho, if I can enjoy life. It seems impossible. Strangely enough, I feel more comfortable with Death. It holds no secrets or lies. Life on the other hand...Your post gave me some hope that the fear I feel will fade and will turn into a strength. And that not fearing death and the knowledge of simply waiting patiently until you are back where you belong is okay.
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