Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Someone recently asked me if I thought my current relationship would have a happy ending. I'm sure that person just meant to ask if I pictured being with this man from now on, but I was a bit stunned by that question and just said, "I hope so." As soon as those words came out I instantly thought, "Of course not".
Does that sound horrible?
I don't mean to be all gloom and doom, but I honestly don't believe that there's a happy ending (here on earth).
I used to believe that .... but now I know differently.
That doesn't mean that my life won't be happy .... but the ending will not be happy .... for someone.
Even if I were to marry again and we both live to be 100 (God forbid) ..... whoever is left behind first will be grief-stricken ..... no matter our age or how long we were together.
I do not look at the future in the same way I did 2 1/2 years ago.
I cannot make far-ranging plans.
I cannot picture myself 5 years out ..... or even 1.
I now know that there are no guarantees.
And that's OK.
It's made me appreciate today a lot more than I used to.
I am learning to enjoy what I have, while I have it.
I'm learning to be happy again.
I think I'd rather have a "happy now", rather than a "happy ending".
Because it's really all we've got.
And that, too, is OK.
"Happy now", my friends.
Posted by Janine at 4:37 AM