Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Happy Ending?

Someone recently asked me if I thought my current relationship would have a happy ending. I'm sure that person just meant to ask if I pictured being with this man from now on, but I was a bit stunned by that question and just said, "I hope so." As soon as those words came out I instantly thought, "Of course not".

Does that sound horrible?

I don't mean to be all gloom and doom, but I honestly don't believe that there's a happy ending (here on earth).

I used to believe that .... but now I know differently.

That doesn't mean that my life won't be happy .... but the ending will not be happy .... for someone.

Even if I were to marry again and we both live to be 100 (God forbid) ..... whoever is left behind first will be grief-stricken ..... no matter our age or how long we were together.

I do not look at the future in the same way I did 2 1/2 years ago.
I cannot make far-ranging plans.
I cannot picture myself 5 years out ..... or even 1.
I now know that there are no guarantees.
And that's OK.

It's made me appreciate today a lot more than I used to.

I am learning to enjoy what I have, while I have it.
I'm learning to be happy again.

I think I'd rather have a "happy now", rather than a "happy ending".
Because it's really all we've got.
And that, too, is OK.

"Happy now", my friends.


  1. Wonderful way to look at life - Sad that it came from such pain, of course, but we are who we are
    because of our loss and we are deeper and have a deeper appreciation of the now.

  2. kudos on that post. hard to find words to respond but you know i get it all...

  3. Happy NOW right back at ya dear sister. I get this post deep in my bones. xo Suzann