Tuesday, February 16, 2010


So whether we wanted to or not, it appears that we have survived another date night holiday! Welcome to the other side people - only 363 more days until Valentine's Day! ;)

This was number 5 for me as a widow. Easier by far, but still - melancholy. Valentine's Day was my first date with my husband. He was a dashing 16 year old boy who came to my house to pick me up with a single red rose and heart-shaped chocolate cake he'd baked himself. I started calling him Betty Crocker that day, and teasingly called him that for the next 19 years.

Years later, we gave up Valentine's Day. In college, we'd broken up two years in a row on Valentine's day....we figured with the first date and the later high drama the day had been used up and we didn't pay much attention to it anymore. He'd always give me flowers "around" Valentine's, but not on the day, and the biggest acknowledgement we gave the day was ordering a heart shaped "Jeff's Special" pizza from Mangia. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel like Valentine's shouldn't be a difficult day for me, it wasn't one that we made a big deal about....BUT, it is a day you celebrate the romantic love in your life. It is a day for me that causes more than a little nostalgia. I'd like to have him here to not celebrate with. I'd like to be together to smugly thumb our noses at the Hallmark holiday and know with a deep contentment that no mere card, vase of flowers, or extravagant meal could define our love.

Instead, I posted Mr. Potatohead on Facebook as my valentine, was given beautiful flowers by a very thoughtful man, and I celebrated with the little guy: heart-shaped cinnamon vanilla french toast with special powdered sugar for him, yummy coffee for me, the first really beautiful weather we've seen in weeks, a mother and son workout session in the afternoon, and homemade spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. All in all, not a bad way to spend a day that is supposed to be about love. Perhaps I wasn't celebrating romantic love, but I was feeling the love all day regardless (except for the school project part of the day...not feeling the love then at all!! ;) ).

Good news, if you're reading this, you've also survived another Monday!
Happy Tuesday - Michelle D.


  1. Thanks for expressing your sentiments about this difficult non-holiday. I sometimes wonder if there are more people feeling bad about themselves, or their lives, on February 14th. Everywhere we turn we are reminded about what great love we have or have not. As you state, it is quite painful to be a Valentine Have Not. This is my first year as one, and yet I got through it better than anticipated. Like many others, there were tears, but there was also perspective and appreciation.

    I enjoyed reading this.


  2. I know you knew it was me sending you anonymous valentine's treats, but I enjoyed trying to keep the secret. I didn't do it was a substitute. I wanted you to know that on that day, there were many people that loved you, that David and I were but a few of them. With the new baby this week, I didn't get to keep up the tradition, and I hate that! We love you and are proud of you every single day, not just on Valentine's Day!