Saturday, June 19, 2010


***It was nearly 3 years ago that I got my Memorial tattoo for myself. While reminiscing I found the blog I wrote about the experience less then 6 months after he was killed. Since we sometimes forget where we've come from in the midst of the grief, healing, and journey that takes place, I thought I'd share this.


Nearly 5 hours after sitting down on that black chair , with a pillow in front of me, I was done. The concept I had been pondering, freaking out, and looking forward to is finally on my back...a lot of my back!! I love it. The pain really could be best described as a hot scalpel cutting through flesh and bone. Half the time I had my eyes closed counting to keep my mind off the pain or trying to look at all the ghetto tattoo flash adorning the walls. I can't believe I did it and I do feel a tad bit stronger in this very weak world of mine. Now I just hope and pray it heals correctly and ends up gorgeous. After it finally finished, I think it was a combination of the pain and the anticipation.....I lost it. I don't know if it made it even more real that Michael is not coming home or just was a lot to take in. I got home and started washing sheets and towels and kind of lost it. I wanted to call Michael...tell him all about it or at least here one of his smart ass remarks......none were to be heard.


  1. Oh Taryn... that is GORGEOUS, I absolutely love it!!! I, too, got an 'In Memoriam' tattoo 3 weeks ago ('My Rick' died on May 22, 2009)... You are right, something about this tattoo, on my inner forearm, EMPOWERS me... it gives me strength... and it's an 'in-my-face' reminder of his love for me... I LOVE MINE... It's THE BEST (therapy) money I have EVER spent, EVER!!

  2. Beautiful tattoo. I too had some ink done, a couple of weeks after my Michael died. I waited until all my guests left, then made an appointment. I have since continued to add more ink during these past 9 months. What we go through is so profound, why not imprint something externally, which conveys what we carry internally.

  3. DeNece and Dad,

    Thank you for sharing your own ink tales.

    At that point, the tattoo seemed to also be the one thing in which no one could take away from me. In a time and place where it felt as if all would crumble the tattoo felt like a stake in the ground for me :)

    Thanks for sharing and being on this journey with me and us all.


  4. Nice work. I also got some ink done for my wife.