|My favorite picture of Seth. This was on our wedding day. |
I look at his face, and he looks so happy, and completely lost in love.
August 12th, 2005
When I got home from work and saw all the prescription bottles were gone...
I just knew.
My deep, dark, fear, was becoming my reality.
I felt like from August 12th, 2008 to April 1st, 2009, was just a waiting game.
I knew deep down in my heart, that one day, the love of my life was going to try (or succeed) to kill himself.
I never wanted to admit to myself that I knew this and how much fear I had bottled up inside my heart and soul.
When Seth didn't come home that night, I knew he was somewhere...
Trying to take his own life.
I didn't sleep at all that night. Every noise, I would be up, looking out the window, hoping the noise I heard was my husband pulling in the driveway.
He never did.
The next day, I had a email from my bank. My account had been overdrawn.
I checked my account online, and found $1,200.00 had been withdrawn.
I had $300.00 in NSF fees within only a 12 hour period.
I called the bank, and they confirmed, that Seth had withdrawn the money.
Now my husband is missing, I'm not even sure if he is alive, and I don't have a penny to my name.
I couldn't pay the mortgage.
I couldn't even buy food or put gas in my car.
The police didn't pay much attention to my cries for help. "He's an adult, he doesn't have to come home if he doesn't want to." "We don't consider it a missing person case until 72 hours has passed".
I begged and pleaded with them. I told them I knew he was going to try to kill himself.
I knew he was in trouble.
They took my information, but did not issue a missing person report.
I went to work that morning. Knowing I couldn't sit home and hope he pulled into the drive way.
Around noon, I got a call from a doctor in a hospital that was 5 hours away from me.
Seth was in the ICU.
He took all the pills he had.
The following is Seth's writing about his attempt. It is the exact writings he did about this.
- Warning - This might be too graphic for some readers.