We write about widowhood as we live it. Together we examine the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of life as a widowed person. The views expressed here are those held by each individual author. We take no credit for their brillance; we just provide them with a forum for expressing their widowed journey in words that are uniquely their own.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Meet Melinda McDonald
First, I would like to thank Wendy
for filling in for me last week.I was
at my girl’s annual Girl Scout camping trip in WI (you know, the one where men
are not allowed in the cabins and have to sleep in far away tents or in their cars.I choose the car.).I thought I would have access to Wi-Fi and
found out when I arrived, that was not the case.So thanks Wendy.
I am finding as the girls get
older, free time becomes more of a premium.I’ve always assumed that once they learned to walk, dress themselves,
and pour a bowl of cereal, that my life would become easier.Not the case.
There are now more time demands at looking
at homework, more time when I come home from work, and more time on the
weekends.I recently watched a Ted Talk
(go to ted.com if you are ever looking for inspirational messages and amazing
speeches) where the topic focused on the idea of gaming and how studies show
that the more parents play games with their kids (yes, video games totally
count), the better groundwork you are laying down for them.So yes, now more Donkey Kong Jr. and Mario
Brothers have to be added to the list – if I must.
I am happy to be able to find more
time with the girls.I am making
progress with them. If this was last year and Kelly said to me in Target – as
she did a few weeks ago - after seeing that I bought a new backpack for Haley, if
she could have a new one. Not only would
I have bought her a new backpack, but probably would have stopped at the local
pet store on the way home and bought her a puppy.
This is why the following simple conversation
was a huge progress point for me.
Haley is getting a new backpack.Can I
You still have your Hello Kitty backpack that is in good condition.”
how come Haley gets a new one?”
Haley’s is three years old and it’s broken.”
“Please.I really want a new one.”
That’s huge for me!Not only that, but when I put them to bed, I
didn’t go to my room and beat myself up on how I should have gotten her a
backpack and a puppy.
I am getting better at this.My relationship with Cheryl has helped a
great deal and has given me more confidence as a father/person.She has been an inspiration to me that life
can have challenges and yet there is still life to be had, still room to
grow.With all the sadness, this has always
kept me going the most, that there is time and room for growth.
All this being said, I am giving up
my blog spot; it’s time to let others speak. I am honored Michele has given me
a voice (forever grateful), so honored to have followed Dan in Real Time, and
honored have our newest blogger take over Sundays.Melinda will bring a powerful voice to this
blog – I will let her share her life with you on her own time.However, here is a quick introduction from
name is Melinda McDonald.
am 31 years old, and a suicide widow. I was widowed at 29 years old. My husband
was 31 years old when he took his life.
suffered immensely emotionally for 3 years, before ending his life. Watching
what he went through is worse than anything I have ever seen.
the day I met Seth, I knew we would be together forever. We were rarely apart,
and were together for 10 years. He died shortly before our 5 year wedding
had a great relationship. He was my best friend, lover and soul mate. He taught
me what a true relationship is like, what true happiness is, and what true love
is. He even taught me how to make homemade beer.
for me, life is getting back on track. I spent my whole “adult” life with Seth,
so I am learning who I am, what I want out of life, and what my next journey
will be. Because of Seth’s death, I am more true to myself, am a better friend,
and eventually, will be a better wife.
am accepting that I can have two soul mates, and hope one day I will find soul
enjoy photography, blogging, cooking, dancing (Zumba!!), my family (I wouldn’t
have lived through this without them). I find great enjoyment in helping other
suicide widows, especially letting them have a safe place to talk, and knowing
they are not alone.
Thanks Melinda, best of luck, you’re
in good hands.