Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Wading Through

So it's been one of those weeks, filled with wonderful things: Widow's Rock Austin was a great time, with some great widows and friends of widows (thanks to all who came!!) and we raised money for Camp Widow 2010 (yay!!!); my sister surprised me at Widow's Rock - she flew in unexpectedly from England for the event and will stay for a week; Grayson had basketball tryouts and an awesome choir concert which went well....on the other hand the week was filled with stressful things: at work I have been second guessed and condescended to in ways I haven't since I was just starting out in my career, I have a had a crick in my neck for four days, and I have a nasty case of PMS....good times!

I've let the stressful things get the best of me this time and have been wading through the muck with a crappy attitude and a stiff neck. I'd really love to run away to a tropical island for an extended appointment with a bottle of rum and my flipflops. Unfortunately for me, this isn't an option. I have to face the music and choose to have a good attitude about it or allow myself to wallow in the shit. If your wondering if this is a new "make a list of the things that are good" post....it's not. It's great I have good things in my life. Focusing on the positive things won't help me resolve my current issue. I've been challenged in the last few years to be clear with myself about who I am: what I like, what motivates me, how much I am willing to give, how much I am willing to take. I think I'm reaching a threshold and I have to decide what it means. Does it mean I have to suck it up and plow through, or does it mean I have to suck it up and go around?

I'm not certain yet of the answer. I'm digging deep to make sure the decision is the best one. Either way, sucking it up and moving forward in one way or the other will be the answer. I try to keep my life a "no whining" zone. Lately it's been me that's been the whiner. Enough is enough already. I'm done.

Happy Tuesday! - Michelle D.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for this post, I can really relate. I hate being a whiner, but that is definitely what I sound like lately. I'm just having a hard time discerning if it is really a crappy job situation or if it is an OK job situation made crappy by where I am in my grief (11 months). My husband was always my best sounding board for work stuff and I desperately miss being able to talk to him about it. But since that situation is not going to change, I suspect what I really needed today was a reminder to suck it up and keep moving forward. Thanks for doing that!