Saturday, November 20, 2010
I'd become comfortable. I'd accepted the fact that I must survive...thrive in this world without my soul mate. It became acceptable. It became something other than a curse.
Then it happened. News. News that I was not supposed to deal with without him by my side. News that made me want to screw the comfortable and scream for the past. News that I didn't know how to take.
I had retreated into a world that was only known to me many years ago...I didn't want to go back there, yet my heart knew no other path.
I guess that is what it is. Like a down comforter chair. You see it. It looks so welcoming. You decide to sit in it. It's blissful as your muscles are enveloped by its comfort, by its surroundings. But just as you sink in more and put your feet up, it happens, you're abruptly thrown to your toes, thrown into a confusion of sorts that you never saw coming.
Maybe the secret isn't dwelling on the fact that it started "just when". Maybe it's a matter of celebrating and being grateful that I had that "just when".
Life is the greatest mystery. The second greatest is our heart's capacity to handle it all. The only thing that isn't a mystery is the love that drags us through the hell we find ourselves in. Drags is through those moments when we had just become comfortable.