Thursday, November 11, 2010


gray and black hair,

missing teeth,

reeking of booze,

wearing a shirt that

said, "vote no on yes."

the man talked to me

about outdated technology

while i sat there

trying to ignore him

staring at the tv,

waiting for the results

of another election.

"what's your name?"

"matt," i told him.

"matthew?" he said, reaching

out to shake my hand.


he told me that

matthew was one of

the hippest names

someone could have,

then something about

never letting anyone

call me matty.

then he said this:

"you know, the only hipper name is elizabeth."

i looked at my group

of friends,

standing in a circle,

all of

them laughing at

a joke i missed.

they had long

since stopped listening

to this lunatic,

but i had

had a hard time

ignoring him.

i wish now that

i had escaped.

i shook my head

and stared into

my drink.

what the hell was

this old drunk talking about?

of all the names

he could have mentioned,

why hers?

"yeah," i said.

this really happened,

just as i wrote it.

i've said

it before and i'll

say it again,

i do not

believe in signs.


  1. I do! and dude, what's it gonna take for you to start believing?????? she's there, Matt, I promise.

  2. I do too, and ditto to Sarah's comment!!!

  3. Too precise to be random. Ditto sarah. And, I have had my share of random homeless folks making seemingly odd and "random" comments.

  4. I have a widow friend who doesn't believe in signs. Doesn't believe she's ever received one though she's written about incidents that couldn't be anything else.

    Here's the thing. When you close your eyes, you are the only one who can't see.

  5. Wow, you gotta believe, pal. That gave me shivers and made the hair on my arms stand up as I read it. I beleive, because if I didn't, I wouldn't have enjoyed all the "visits" from my lost love.

  6. Yeah right "you don't believe", that's why you wrote this post. I have a feeling you no longer need any arm twisting to "believe".

    I also wonder what "a sign" means. This homeless guy was on to something so take it for whatever it means to you.

  7. There is a higher power Matt. Nothing in life is random or left to chance. Liz is with you and Maddie.

  8. Ditto, ditto to Anon, two above this comment. I wonder which is more believe or to not believe? I think it's the latter.

  9. Whether or not you choose to believe does not make the signs any less real. These are what I call 'love notes from heaven'.

  10. There is no such thing as coincidences. That is a sign, she is with you. For me it's the only thing that keeps me going, is knowing my husband is still with me in whatever shape or form it is. These little signs are ways they let you know they are with you.

  11. If she is trying to give you a sign, man you have to be pissing her off. :) I don't know about signs either, but I have to admit when I get one it's hard not to hope.
    Dreams are another thing. Dreams are not only comforting to me, but I really feel like I spent time with him again. Do you ever have that feeling? It seems far fetched, but again, its hard not to believe and hope sometimes.

  12. I do believe in signs and even though you don't I hope you felt comforted that night as he spoke about your whole family. He even said "Matty/Maddie"....and hippies are spiritual people too! Crazy old man...

  13. There are times when people might look for any little sign, even stretching it for comforts sake. I try to keep a realistic view of things. But sometimes, you get clobbered over the head and have no choice but to surrender. As you know, they leave even if they have plans and then you are left wondering, do I still go ahead with our plans? It was supposed to be his birthday celebration. A day out at sea fishing. Everyone still went in his honor and there was mentions of him all day. Then all of the sudden, out in the middle of the open ocean, a blue star mylar birthday balloon was spotted hoovering over the water. It floated slowly and landed, of all places, on the boat. This made even the hardest men on that day feel something. Whether you believe in signs or not, it did make me think of him, and it made me feel maybe...just maybe. And then I felt peace and I smiled. And I can't think of anything wrong with that.

  14. Matt,
    believe. I gave my husband's truck away to a teenage boy who's family could not afford to buy him a car. Guess when he picked it up! On my husband's birthday and it was also his 16th birthday, too! How is that for a sign!

  15. I believe. I didn't once though. I went to a medium on my late grandfather's birthday, being skeptical I booked the appointment under a fake name. I got there and the medium said "A man is here and says it was nice of you to come visit him on his birthday." I thought it strange and wasn't sure if I believed him. 20 min later I wanted to attempt to contact someone else. I ended my "conversation" with my grandfather still unsure if it was real, and then the medium said "Before you go he wants you to tell Claire that he loves her and he kisses her each night before she goes to bed". Claire is my grandmother and not a name he could have pulled out his ass. And now I believe and all it's really given me in return is no fear of death and comfort in nothing that there is more to life than here and now. It also made my Grandmother super freaking happy to hear that, the whole thing was tape recorded so she could listen, turns out my grandpa had mentioned a few dates that were important to them that didn't mean anything to me but did to my grandmother.

  16. Matt, he reads your blog at the library. Seriously now, I don't subscribe to the idea of the dead reaching out to us to give us "signs". Nor is he in some eternal slumber six feet under. What is left of him in this physical world is my memory of him. He has left this world for another. But hearing your story... It does make me smile.

  17. My husband passed away on Sunday, June 20 (Sunday)at 3:00 pm after being in a coma for five days due to heat stroke. His last meal before the incident was one of his favorite dishes.

    Believe it or not, the next day at 5:15 am our bedroom was filled with the aroma of that food, it was like someone was really cooking that dish.
    It did not go away quickly.

    Yesterday I was here in my office and at about 4:00 pm I smelled the aroma of that dish. I talked to him about my problems and asked him what to do. I think he made manifestations of his presence that he is watching over us.

  18. I'm a believer. The signs have been numerous, including a light in my son's room that was being turned on and off every night for nearly three months. My son was only one. I experienced energy interferences on a regular basis the first year following his passing. His energy was palpable. I wish I could go back and feel that again.