Saturday, December 18, 2010


If I had to choose between loving you and breathing, I would use my last breath to say, "I Love You."
This Thursday will mark our 5 year wedding anniversary. As I've stated through the years, this day has always been more difficult for me than any other...including the day he was killed.

You see, I don't define Michael's life and our life together by the day he was killed, I've always defined it by our eternal love, and no day signifies that more than when we exchanged vows.

We clasped hands from the first moment, rocking into each other, looking into each others eyes in a sort of dream like gaze, exchanging words that were more than words, letters that when compiled and verbalized explained our unfaltering devotion and feelings towards each others. Verbalized our future and our present, all that we were thankful for the other teaching/allowing us to experience.

With the go-go-go of the past couple of months, it feels good to sit here and reminisce about a moment that lives on in me forever, and through those that for a brief period in time, saw the union of two souls connected beyond measure.

I miss looking into his eyes, kissing his lips, knowing that that moment in time all was as it should be. But the angst of separation is still overpowered by that which surpasses all the physical, something that words haven't been created for, yet we exchanged them that evening. The knowing...the absolute knowledge that we will spend eternity together, even if briefly in two different realms.

One of the last letters Michael and I exchanged, I told him there were no words created for just how much I love i created one. I called it: loveinity.

I loveinity you baby (and am so in lonveinity with you)...Happy Almost Anniversary, My Love.


  1. Happy Anniversary! I love your certainty that you will spend eternity with your spouse. This belief must be so comforting for you. I hope that is true for all of us widows.

  2. An absolute beautiful post. Thank you for sharing that. So well said on so many of the beautiful emotions and feelings of deep true love. I share your belief in our love is for eternity for this life and the next. Together Forever became our motto.

  3. I think for many of us, it is the anniversaries that represent times our loves were alive hurt the most, since we wish for those times again.