Friday, December 3, 2010

the wishlist

My children are aware that Christmas is in 23 days. Already they are making their preparations for the big day. Snow flakes already adore most of the windows in our house, our advent calendar is hanging above the fireplace and letters to Santa are ready to post. After ruminating long and hard over what she would write, my eight year old daughter, Liv, stood up from the kitchen table with a letter for Santa clutched in her skinny, little hands. Hope and excitement lit her face.
"Do you think Santa can bring whatever you ask for if you only ask for one thing?", she whispered.
"It depends what it is, I suppose", I answered nervously imagining pink polka-dotted unicorns and hot-air balloon rides to the moon being requested. I was surprised when she handed over her note.
Her words make me vacillate between laughter and tears....
I don't know what I'd do without these little people who make life so much harder and some much more bearable in one motion.

P.S. Briar asked for a remote control monster truck taller than his head. Not as emotionally charged, but certainly enough to strike fear in a mother's heart. How the HECK is Santa going to pull off Christmas????


  1. Wow Jackie - what a wonderful post. I can only imagine the amount of tears this will generate. What a beautiful little gift of a girl you have. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own grief that I quickly forget my children who outwardly seem to be handling the upcoming first Christmas without their dad. But asked to put their Christmas wishes on paper, I believe their message would be the same as Liv's. Hugs to you and your children!

  2. "out of the mouths of babes" valid and sincere a request.


  3. I have an olivia at home and this brought tears to my eyes!

  4. Your post sure struck home with me. A request we normally wold expect to hear only from a small child, but I guess our kids are always just matter how old they get. Just the other day I was asking my 19 yr. old colleged son to make a list for me so I would know what he wants and he said: (with tears in his eyes) "Can you bring Dad back?? If not, I don't want anything." Leaves me speachless as I am often so consumed with myself I sometimes forgot how much his heart aches for the same thing.

  5. My daughter went through a period where she believed her dad would come back. She got it into her head he'd be allowed to attend her 4th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. She was so excited that day and I chalked it up to her birthday, but later, when she realized Dad wasn't coming and her excitement disappeared, she told me why she'd been so happy earlier. What do you do? They are children. Magic is possible and reality is learned with time and experience.

    It was a lovely letter. She must be a very amazing little girl.

  6. I love that young children can so honestly express their thoughts. Believe my much older children keep so much inside.

  7. We all wish we could give Olivia what she wants!
    I know it is what I wish for my husband back!

  8. That breaks my heart. Having my husband back is all I want this year too.

  9. Shortly after my husband died the girls at work said I should be prepared for a really big surprise on Monday. I knew it! Dave would be there! I decided he really was not dead and would be there. When the big surprise was a fruit flower basket I had to sneak outside to hide behind the dumpsters and cry. I am in my 60's but share Olivia's dream. Sandy