Friday, January 28, 2011
safety freak
My minivan has a back-up beeper installed and I never fail to safety goggles when required.
I realize that teenagers at the bus stop snicker as I stride by sporting my safety vest covered in all its' reflective glory and a red light flashing out a constant reminder of the whereabouts of my hindend.
And in the past, I would have worried that this safety gear would identify me as a complete dork. A safety freak. Now I see it as protecting my kids.
By wearing this protective paraphernalia, I am hopefully preventing the possibility of creating two little orphans.
I am terrified of leaving them alone in the world. Without Daddy....and then without Mommy.
I have stopped short of wearing bubble wrap beneath my clothing. But I do get my flu shot and wear a helmet when riding my bike. For my kids. I'll do it because they do still need me.
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Less than a month after my mom died three years ago (I was 20), I decided to be spontaneous and go on a road trip to Canada with some friends-- not even good friend, mind you, but just some girls I went to high school with a few years before. It was chaotic from start to finish and my anxiety was through the roof. On the 8+ hour drive home in a blizzard, I could see that the girl driving the car I was in was extremely hungover and her eyes were constantly closing. I panicked, like anyone would, and did everything in my power to keep her awake (none of us knew how to drive her car, which was a stick shift) until I finally convinced a girl who kind of knew how to drive the car to hop in the driver's seat. I know how you feel- all I could think about was my family. I wasn't afraid for my life in that moment, I was afraid for my dad's and brother's and what they would do if they lost both me and our beloved mom in the same month. Needless to say, I am now the driver on any roadtrips I take, and I make sure it's with people I trust!
ReplyDeleteI so get this. Ever since my husband's cancer
ReplyDeletediagnosis, I am worried sick about myself now because of our daughter. A 7 week long breast cancer scare took me to the very edge of my sanity. One feels so vulnerable when tragedy has struck your family. It's like walking the wire without a net.
This is perfectly normal for you to feel this way. I lost my father when I was ten, and I can assure you that your children are just as worried about something happening to you as you are (probably more). They are now depending on you for their survival. For everyone's peace of mind, please make sure you have been to an attorney and named a guardian for your children in the event that something should happen. My husband and I did just that when our child was very young because we wanted to be prepared if we should both perish, in car accident or whatever. My fathers' death at such an early age taught me to manage risk...wanted to make sure our child would be raised by a relative of our choice.
ReplyDeleteMy son is grown...so there's me to take care of me...and my dachshund! So what do I worry about...my son who is seriously overweight...has a wife with OI and two small children...and my dachshund. I don't worry about any of this like I would have years ago...because I can do everything I can to be prepared and it's still going to go the way it's going to go.
ReplyDelete