Friday, February 18, 2011

Pretty Panty Problems

Photo from here...

There's an old adage that says that you should make sure that you are always wearing nice underpants in case you end up at the hospital and some health care worker witnesses the terrible state of your undergarments.
I remember this and other silly issues causing me concern at one point.
I could worry about this still...if I worked at it. But now, it is a choice.
I can care that someone believes that I am too old for my nose ring. I may occasionally wonder if I appear to be a socially responsible human. I might stress about the length of the lawn.
Since Jeff's death, I truly realize that "Life is short". All of us reading this blog are painfully aware. Our hearts ache and we may wonder 'why' this has happened. Why we have lost our loved ones.
But if we can look through the mesh of fear and sadness that our loss has created, we can see the gift that this loss has given us.
It's the gift of knowing what is important. Truly important.
It's not the whole-y undies that matter - it's the person that's wearing them. Their deeds, their heart, their memories. Well-loved and saggy, rainbow tie-dyed underpants can be replaced. The fabulous human who sports them cannot.
Although this lesson has come with a heartbreaking price, I am a kinder, better and more fun and confident person because of it....And if you look inside, I bet you are to. And I now feel that many of our everyday issues rank down there with pondering "pretty panty problems".

P.S. Nice undies!!!!


  1. Yes. It is truly amazing that it takes the death of a spouse for us to mentally grasp how short life really is and and to put into perspective what's important in life.
    And on a silly note I can't believe I used to tease Dave for not getting rid of his holey underwear. (He would eventually, just took him awhile to get around to that kind of stuff.) I would do anything or give anything just to see him in those stupid things again!

    And while we're talking about undies, I recently tossed all of Dave's underwear except for a single pair to keep in the drawer with mine. (I'm at 8 months now and I still just like to see his stuff with mine.) Thank goodness for this blog. Without it I might think that was strange! (Please don't tell me I'm strange!)

  2. At 7 months out, I'm trying to temper my grief and loss by changing my perspective of what I've lost to what I've gained. The gifts my husband have help me be a better person and move on in my life as he wanted me to. Thank you for the input that another gift is knowing what is truly important and letting go of the rest.

  3. If you are strange then so am I! I am at 7 months without Michael and I still open his underwear drawer just to look...haven't had the heart to get rid of anything yet! I've just recently found this blog and I already find it comforting...thank you to all of you...bloggers and responders!

  4. It is sad that it takes something so devastating for us to learn how short life really is. I know that I, like many, have changed since experiencing the death of TJ. I am a completely different person now.