on monday i came
face-to-face
with a teenage
madeline, and madeline
at age 38.
two different
people, different
from the madeline i'm
raising right now.
but the same.
they were still
living with what
madeline will be living
with the rest
of her life.
...
teenage madeline stood
across the table
from me,
holding a copy
of the thing
i created for my madeline.
smiling, braces on
her teeth,
i had no idea
it was madeline
i was looking at,
10 or so years
in the future,
until her dad
(me?)
told me so.
she talked about
her life since
her mom died,
her dad
and another woman
(her brookie?)
by her side
smiling proudly
as she talked
of sadness, happiness,
and ultimately, survival.
i didn't know
what to say,
staring back at our
future, hoping that
my madeline would
turn out as
well as the one
standing in front of me.
i did the only
things i could
think to do.
i thanked her,
and told her that
when my madeline
is her age,
i will be counting on
her to help
her through with
words that will
make her feel
not so alone
in this.
...
38-year old madeline
came later,
talking to me
first about
her brother
(a friend of mine from college).
next, explaining how
her family came to be...
her mom died,
years earlier,
then everything that
happened later.
unlike teenage madeline,
there was no dad,
no brookie standing
next to her.
she was an adult,
still working
through it all.
like teenage madeline,
38-year old madeline
talked of sadness, happiness,
and ultimately, survival.
she handed me
something she was
working on,
her way of continuing
the process of processing,
the start of something
that i hope
my madeline writes
for me someday,
to show me how
far we've come since
the day after she
was born
(and to prove there's another writer in the family).
...
i didn't imagine this.
it happened.
last monday.
in a bookstore
a few miles away
from where her
mother and i
grew up.
and as difficult
as it was
to see future
madeline standing
before me,
two different times,
two different ages,
it made me feel better
about her future.
...
three year old madeline
was there, too.
later that evening,
she sat in my
lap, swiped the microphone,
from me,
put it a little
too close to
her mouth
and said,
"daddy! daddy! tell me a story!"
i had finished
telling a room
full of people
the story that
happened to her,
to us,
the one i had
written for her.
but she wanted to
hear something different.
so i made up
a story about
her and her
current favorite
cartoon characters.
she laughed.
"more, daddy!"
yes, madeline.
more to come...
Amazing post Matt, she is just adorable. I finished your book last week and almost immediately started reading it again. The first time, I just couldn't wait to read more and the second time - just taking my time absorbing it. You did a great job in writing it - congratulations on that huge accomplishment.
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