Peter

Fun.

On a scale from 1-10, if you were to honestly answer, how much fun do you have on a normal basis?

I answered the same question months ago.

'It's been 5 years. I have fun, again!' and I have, but it wasn't a consistent constant if I really thought about it. I do what I love, I have great friends, I do amazing things, but when truly thinking of it, I was probably a 4 or 5.

Since facing that reality, though, I have added a bit of Peter into my life.

Peter Pan, that is.

I've gone back to the inner child we all have sometimes lying dormant within us.

I play with chalk, face paint, sing horribly in too many public places to name, definitely dance like no one is watching, laugh till my belly hurts, make up corny jokes and laugh at them by myself, take out my cruiser bike with two bells and ride around ringing them waving to strangers while listening to Hall and Oates, and randomly give smells and random animals names I've created.

That's just to list a few.

These weren't things I didn't do before, because fortunately (and unfortunately to some that were present) these were all things I did on a pretty day to day basis before Michael died. But they became something that I wasn't even incorporating into 50% of my life.

So I took my trip to neverland these past few months and never looked back!! I'm at a 7 and rising!

It's easy to forget to be a kid again after all that's happened. It's easy to take for granted laughing until you nearly wet yourself after you've at least taken the huge leap of laughing once more after a tragedy. It's easy to get to a 10 in many areas and forgetting what may actually be a huge component to feeling alive, feeling your husband's presence in the process, when breathing doesn't become such a torturous act. But man, it is not easy to go back to those places once you strap on those green leotards and sprinkle just a bit of fairy dust to add a necessary part of our daily lives into the mix again.

Fly on!