The redeeming beauty of this year's march can be pinpointed to two specific moments in time. I was driving with G and we were talking about the last time he saw Daniel. He'd forgotten some of the details, and seeing his smile as I described our last night together as a family was a beautiful, if more than a little heart breaking sight.
Moment number two: sitting with Carl on the back porch on the actual date of the last night before Daniel died. I described the whole night to Carl and what we'd done (hospital dinner, watched Pimp My Ride...maybe we'd have watched something cooler in the hospital if we'd only known it was the last show...). Carl listened to me and tried to understand my recollection and obvious angst over the date. Most importantly, he really listened. He sat with me. He loved me anyway while I was sharing my sadness and bewilderment with him about another man he's never met. He is amazing.
The march sucked. It always does. What didn't suck was how it reminds me of what is important. How it illuminates for me the beauty of the people in my life. It shows me how blessed I have been in spite of it all.
It's over, it will happen again next year. I will not say I'm looking forward to it. But I hope I find something positive in it again next year.