Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Disappointed kids


.... and the furious Mama Bear.

I wasn't going to blog about this today. 
I was going to think of something else to blog about but I am So. Damn. Furious. right now I have to write it out.

You see, today my darling kids were excited to go to a special holiday program for gifted and talented kids* and K was especially excited about going.

She got her invitation to attend last Monday and I immediately wrote to the event provider to enroll her.  I got a message back, thanking me for her details and telling me how to pay..... but no further information.

My son H didn't get his invitation until last Thursday (the day before the entire nation shuts down for the four-day Easter break) and I frantically sent off another e-mail.  I got no response so sent 2 more e-mails and 4 phone calls .... no reply to any of them.

Based on the pathetic response we received to the first e-mail, I assumed that since this program was run by G&T teachers, that perhaps organisation might be an area they lacked skills in, and we drove to the other side of town thinking that both children were enrolled and all would be OK.

When we got there, neither were enrolled and the staff had no paperwork.  I demanded to see "the boss".  She fobbed me off, blaming the school for not sending the notes home in time.  I asked how much time the school knew before I did.  She said "3 weeks". 
Ummmm - sorry??? 3 weeks??? 3 weeks during a school term is as good as writing a letter and flushing it down the loo in the hopes the message will reach the target.  School terms are hectic and the last three weeks can be absolutely frantic as testing is done and staffing shuffles are made.

So we turned around and came home - two very disappointed kids and one Mama Bear who is absolutely furious.
....I'm just not exactly sure who to be furious at but I suspect that both the school AND the G&T organisation can shoulder a big lump of blame each.

.....and "why" you may ask, am I so damn mad about this and what exactly does it have to do with a widow blog?

The short answer is that I am mad that my kids have had more disappointment that could have been avoided with one single phone call or e-mail.#

I am mad because they were looking forward to it and missed out through no fault of theirs or mine.

I am mad because there is that extra straw of disappointment added to the pile on their backs

I am mad because I forced myself to get into the car and drive further and longer than I amcomfortale with.

I am mad because I had to drive along roads that I have avoided since the accident.

I am mad because of the grief and "woe is me" feeling that this has brought up in all of us.

I am mad because I suspect that if Greg were here, none of this would seem like such a big deal.

I am Mama Bear and I am FURIOUS.

* My kids are not technically G&T - they are just very bright.  Well ... maybe they are mildly gifted in academic areas (mostly maths) but they are not baby Einsteins.

# I am aware that life is full of disappointments, but this could have been so easily avoided if the organisers had bothered to respond to any of my e-mails, phonecalls or texts.  Kids with dead dads already miss out on lots of things in life and sometimes even tiny disappointments can add enough to the already large burden and result in the floods of tears we've seen today.

....and yes, I have already sent a letter of complaint to the event organisers and will send a carefully worded one to the school as well.


  1. I feel so sad and disappointed for both you and the children - simply put, all of this upset could have been so easily avoided with just a little professional competence.
    I hope something really wonderful happens for them very soon.

  2. Amanda, I am so sad for your kids too. As a fellow widow and a mother, I understand perfectly the depth of disappointment these hardships bring. We are already forced to stand by and watch our kids surviving life without a father and this "stuff" happens. It is just not fair and it plain "sucks".

    Good for you for being in attack mode. Hopefully, your complaints will prevent this from happening again!

    Hang in there!!!!

  3. I get the unfairness of life. Similar event happened to my teenage daughter with a softball team after her father had died. I fought for her and others said they would back me back they did not and failed to show up. They all had complained about this coach, but when push came to shove they were cowards!

  4. When I read this, I thought, "Roar, Mamma Bear, Roar!" You are doing the best you can to protect your kids. Your family suffered such a great loss, of course you wouldn't want any more disappointments for your kids, no matter how "small". And sometimes, a smaller disappointment allows us to roar about the greater disappointment and the unfairness of our loss...which is really what we're still feeling the sting of. You are a good mom. Hugs to you and your cubs.