Some of the things I regret around Ian's death feel exceedingly odd.
Nothing about how we managed his care, death or funeral.
But not getting his chicken, lime and coconut milk curry recipe out of him... THAT has bugged me beyond belief.
That was his signature dish, the one he pulled out when we had company. It's what he made me the first time he invited me over for dinner. I didn't need to know the recipe - it was his thing. I actually doubt he would have given it to me.
Here's the thing. I can't actually remember what Ian's version tasted like. He'd not made it for quite a while before he got sick, so that memory has faded.
During the week, a friend gave me some limes of her tree. And I'd already been thinking about this recipe more and more recently, as John can now handle those more liquid curries without making too much mess.
So on the very, very limited information I had... I gave it a crack, even though I was quite scared to.
Chicken, lime juice, fresh chili, coconut milk, spring onion. That's all I had to go on.
Seeing as though I don't remember what it actually tasted like, I added some other Thai herbs, some fish sauce and palm sugar, since they seemed to fit the profile.
And it worked. It rang some taste-bud bells. Not one hundred percent because a three year old would not accept Ian's degree of heat (neither did I, quite frankly), and it was a different variety of lime than Ian used so I think that's part of it, but what I tried was a good start and something else from Ian I can pass on to John as he gets older.
And I never got Kent's recipe for chicken parmesan because he always made it for me. And I never realized that there would be an end to those special meals that he prepared and I enjoyed. But there was, and I have yet to give it a try. After all, it makes way too much for one. Marianne
ReplyDeleteMy husband made grilled cheese sandwiches a certain way. Simple grilled cheese, but it made me really sad I would never have it again. My son must have been paying more attention than me because he managed to recreate it. That was really nice. It's nice to come here and see that others understand all the little losses that go along with the big ones(though I of course wish none of us did). I am glad you got to ring those taste buds, it's the little things that bring a moment of peace.
ReplyDeleteOurs was his clam dip. He always made it when we entertained. I was a mess the first Thanksgiving with out him. I cried endlessly while preparing the turkey, we always did that together. My son asked if we were having Dad's clam dip, when I told him, no I didn't pick up the ingredients, he went to the store, bought everything and made it for us. It was honestly the sweetest gesture and memory.
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