Sunday, March 28, 2010

Ugly

BP stands for Bruce Paul, the almost 19 year old boy I reference in this post
A friend of his designed this t-shirt for him on Valentie's Day
His school sold it. In just one month, he t-shirts appeared all over the world.


“He’s in our thoughts and prayers.”


“We are sending a blanket of love.”


Those are words I read today about a boy, who like Art is


battling his second round of cancer.


He’s doing a better job than Art did


and I’m NOT doing a better job at begin gracious.


Instead, when I read those words of love


And support


Ms. Cynic thinks


“Save your breath!”


“Those good thoughts and prayers


Don’t work.


If they did,


I wouldn’t be writing this column.”


Silly, stupid, people.



-------


That boy died earlier morning on Friday, March 26.


The grief sucked me down its whirlpool, shame followed


And anger was fast on its heels.


Only this time, I bobbed to the surface


Before I got too much water up my nose.


The whirlpool didn’t take me down as far and I am not as disoriented.


I cry because I know where his mom will go


I know the journey of loss


and the idea of someone I know walking it


Makes me scream myself raw


and punch trees


and crumble to the floor and say


“Why her? Why her?”


Brooks….I’m sorry.


I wanted those silly, stupid people prayers to work.


I really wish they had worked.

1 comment:

  1. i get that. I do that same thing. once you know bad things happen, it's hard to think otherwise.

    ReplyDelete