.... than being single.
Remember when I wrote this post about what happened at Camp Widow East? I remember. It ended up being a very important night for me.
It was about saying goodbye to Jim and turning to face my future .... and the person who I thought was in my future.
Well, color me stupid.
I should have known that something wasn't quite right when he was the ONLY person who didn't comment on that post.
I wrote it on my personal blog that same day and many, many people contacted me. Especially friends who had known Jim and me for a long time. They were all very happy for me. I heard/read a lot of comments about that post.
Except from one person.
One very important person.
At the time.
I guess the two of us have different definitions of love.
And I'm ok with that.
Because there are much worse things than being single.
Being with someone with a different definition is worse.
Being with someone who can't truly love is worse.
Being widowed has never been a walk in the park.
In fact, it sucks.
But I am grateful for what I had .... with Jim .... for as long as I had it .... and him.
I know what love is.
I know what love looks like.
I know what love sounds like.
And I know how love responds.
Thank God I haven't forgotten.
Because there are worse things than being single.
Being with the wrong person would be worse.
"Settling" and hoping things will work out would be worse.
Being with someone who keeps a record of wrongs (imaginary wrongs at that!), rather than a record of his love for me would be far worse.
I have been loved too well to settle for less.
And I have too much love to give to deserve less.
So I will not settle.
And I will remember what love truly is .... and that I deserve it.
Because there are worse things .... than being single.