This post was written last week, as I am blissfully unaware of the real world this week enjoying a Jamaican honeymoon with my wonderful new husband!
Ever since the moment I knew I would marry Steve, I have felt so much peace about where God was taking us. Even in the way He brought us together; all the things I thought would worry me about getting married after losing someone I love so much turned out to be bearable issues that we worked out so seamlessly. Even the peace I felt against other's insecurities...it just all came together in the way only God can pull it off.
The only thing I ever felt unsettled about has been my name. Veronica King. It's who I am, who I have become, and who I want to be. When Jeremy and I got married, I couldn't wait to change my last name. I was proud to belong to Jeremy and take his name, I was proud to be a King and had waited my whole life to become a "Mrs." And I feel the same way about Steve: I am proud to be his and be a part of his family and take his name. The difference this time though, is that my name is also my connection to Jeremy. It's what keeps us connected, it's how people find him through me and visa versa. I am part of his legacy and he is a part of mine. It birthed my blog, Everyday Kings. I jokingly used to tell Jeremy that the only way I'd ever change my last name from King was if it were to become Queen instead.
When this issue arose, I felt so unsettled about it, like I had to choose who I loved more, and tried to find other people who had remarried after being widowed to see what they did with their last name and why. I didn't really have any luck figuring out what to do. I didn't know how to bring it up to Steve, even though I knew he would be understanding, because I didn't want in any way to make it seem like I didn't want to take his last name or that he is less important.
We finally talked it through and Steve, being the incredible guy that he is, was very understanding and let me take my time deciding what I wanted to do. The only solution that gave me any sort of settlement was to have my cake and eat it too.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce myself: I am now Mrs. Veronica King-Cunningham! :) It's a mouth-full and a lot to write down, but it incorporates the two things I love most and puts a smile on my face and peace in my heart.
For any of those reading who have been remarried, what did you do with your last name and why did you make that decision?
I will be doing the same thing that you did minus the hyphen. My fiance said he would totally understand if I didn't want to change my name which relieved me of the pressure. I spent 23 years with my maiden name and now 23 years with my late husband's name added to that one. Here's to the next 20+ with all three!
ReplyDeleteLove this blog. I am not faced wth this dilemma at this juncture in my life but have thought it through as well. What a treasure to have loved two amazing men in your life. So pleased for you that you've found a way to honor them both.
ReplyDelete@claiib_leslie
Well done! I have thought about keeping my married name as a middle name. So its not in the forefront, but not left behind either. Best of love and luck on your new journey!
ReplyDeleteLove following you Mrs. King-Cunningham! I re-married last Sat and have also chosen to hypen my current (LH name) with my new husbands name. I too, didn't want to pick one over the other and felt my name is who I am!
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you love!