“The happier you are, the less you need.”
-Francesca Lia Block
I'm writing this in nothing but my underwear in a tent in a park while sipping on my ramen....
Ok....not really...but if I was, I know I'd make it work...
On New Year's day I backed into my sister's car. In the beginning, I would have been shattered....my material things were all I used to feel I had left after Michael died. Instead I couldn't stop laughing and smiling and grasping how little all of it mattered!
Little by little over the past 5 years, I've been challenged with facing whether or not the physical or material actually would be the connection to memories and happiness.
Floods, wrecks, lost items, donated things, etc. etc....and the transition continues to happen daily.
The love and memories are no less.
My life and soul are just better.
And like the quote says, I guess that when that mixture of forced, realized, learned, and tortured comes together...you end up with the potion, the combination, that equates to something that seemed as foreign as a leprechaun riding a unicorn down a rainbow to reach its pot of gold....
You end up with the realization that you are happy.
I have noticed the tendency to cling to my "stuff" since Dave died, too. Like you said, it's ALL I have left. That and the cats he loved so much. But, it's all stuff (except for the furballs - they're family members). Stuff comes and goes. It's what is inside of us that lasts. It's hard not to cling though. I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread to comfort and a feeling of home. I'm trying so hard to cultivate that feeling from within me. It's rough.
ReplyDeleteI have felt as you do. The material is definately not as important anymore and I would trade it all to be with my husband again.
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