After many months on the market, Maggie’s Cool Car finally found a new home. The nice lady who counted out a cash deposit shook with anticipation as she hinted at the car’s new life, using phrases like “kids out of the house”, “single” and “PAAARTAAAY!” (Yes, that is a direct quote.) Clearly she was very excited and happy about our exchange. I on the other hand, was melancholy, although her overwhelming joy about the new adventures awaiting her and Maggie’s Cool Car softened the blow of each hundred-dollar bill hitting the dashboard as she counted. It’s the saddest I’ve been in a long time about receiving money.
She’s coming to get the car Wednesday so the cool car and me have one last weekend together. I haven’t made any specific plans for us yet, but it’ll get some love between now and then. Weather be-fitting, we’ll take many a top down, radio blaring ride.
Since it has been on the market, I’ve kept Maggie’s Cool Car in the garage, stored safely away from door dings, windshield chips, dust and mud. While driving it today I quickly realized I had forgotten how this car turns heads. When people see this fun car with its top down and radio blasting, the look on their face screams “I wish that was me in that cool car!” Oh boy. If they only knew the rough roads this car has seen, the want might not be quite so strong.
Most of the ride has been sweet, undeniably. From the moment I picked up Maggie’s Cool Car, we had a grand adventure. A lot of memories were made in and around this car and those don’t leave when it drives off on its new life. Yes, it’s one more thing I’m letting go of, but the feelings and memories, those will stay forever in my heart. I like to believe that all the powerfully positive energy that Maggie and I generated together imbued Maggie’s Cool Car with a lifetime magical aura. It’s a wonder that car didn’t fly.
Hmmm….. Maybe that’s why everyone was staring when Maggie’s Cool Car drove by. The wheels weren’t touching the ground.
I had to sell Corey's suburban at the end of the summer - there really wasn't any reason for me to keep it and it was a financial drain, but how I sobbed when the nice young man who bought it drove away (and I'm crying now). We had such wonderful adventures in that truck. It was such an integral part of our life and our relationship. I loved riding in it with Corey at the wheel feeling like everything was right with the world. I will always have the memories, but I will never get that feeling back again and it makes me so sad.
ReplyDeleteLast winter when he was sick my overwhelming urge was to get him out of the hospital, into the truck with our dog and just drive. Drive away from all the sickness and fear and just go. Out on the open road with the tunes blaring and with love and hope in our hearts. We never got that chance and I'm still mourning that and everything else.
Chris,
ReplyDeleteI can so identify with your feelings about the "Cool Car". I let go of my cool car before my husband passed from cancer. Although it was the car of my dreams, I'm so glad I let it go before his death. I knew it wouldn't have been the same without him to enjoy it with me.
I so wish you heartfelt peace now and always...Go find your "Cool Car", Maggie would have wanted you to be happy.
My husband had a hard time parting with his vehicles, I had 7 to deal with when he left. They were not as cool as Maggie's, but had many memories tied to them. I'm down to 3 now, my son will take one, so that leaves me with 2, and one is a funky plow truck that I need for the drive one last winter. I'll be outta here after that, not sure where, but I too am hitting the road. It's time.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree, go find your cool car, Chris. You deserve it.
One more thing that hurts, out of a million of them. I so get this, Chris.
ReplyDeleteposted at 4am - is that something automatic or are we all insomniacs?
ReplyDeleteOh, I am tired of losing things, of everything being one more loss. I hope there comes a time when we start accruing things again, like barnacles on a whale - maybe a little happiness, a quantum of joy, something added rather than one more thing taken away.
oh - yes - parting with material things can be so tough - on the other hand, accumulating things together can be so missed - I often would buy something for the apartment (or we would pick out things together) and would bring home flowers...just because. He often would say to me - why do you do that? - my response was "because I love and enjoy sharing things and life and everything else with you" - I interpret that as "genuine" love. Oh how I miss having him with me to share "things" and moments with...haven't bought anything material (other than flowers to try to bighten up the place - and I always take a few bits from the spray out to the cemetery to share with him)... We were in a same sex relationship and I always told him I had never bought roses for another man until I met him...and I continue to do that to this day...and have made arrangements for it to occur on a regular basis (placed between our markers) when I am no longer physically here to do it...
ReplyDeleteNow this is a car worth saving. I had few of these relics in my collection and one of them had been damaged from tornado. That is when I decided to insure these relics so I won't have to worry anymore. I found car insurance in Little Compton RI to be the most reliable insurance company out there. Best decision I ever made.
ReplyDelete