Saturday, May 4, 2013
“The relationship you have with the world is just like any other relationship. Every now and again, even if it’s pissed you off for no good reason, you have to look it in the eyes and say: I love you.” - Iain Thomas
I broke up with life in May of 2007.
For obvious reasons.
My soul mate was killed.
But as the days, months and years passed.
As the smiles grew from corner to corner, laughter escaped, inhaling was appreciated... we made up.
But then another loss. Another break up from the big L.
Then he wined and dined me and we made up. All past issues forgiven ;)
But the past 4 years, when May or December came around, I didn't just end our longstanding nuptials with a break up, but insisted on at least giving life the cold shoulder.
They're hard months with hard dates.
Not this year.
Event though we've had are disagreements and what at times seemed like a total divorce, life and I have stuck it through.
'But how? Life has done some pretty messed up things to you?!'
I know. It's a question asked by many and many times by myself. Please, let me explain.
Life has its flaws. Undoubtedly. But so do I.
Life has sometimes made me question my very existence. But Life never Life never left my side as I figured it out for myself.
But enough about Life..I must admit my own discretions in our relationship.
I've hated Life with my very being. I've spit on it and told it to never come back. I threw its clothes to the curb. I've cursed it to all around me.
But through it all, Life consistently let me know that it was there for me. Life knew that it wasn't perfect, and most importantly, Life never gave up on me when I had given up on it and myself.
Life understood what I needed to realize for myself....
That it wasn't perfect, but it was something that many didn't even have the honor of having in its presence. That it couldn't give me everything, but if I were to reflect, I'd realize that it had and would give me more than I could have ever asked for or dreamed of.
This May (and after), I've made a pact with what I some thought to be a hellish relationship, to really opening my eyes to the utter beauty and unconditional love it has and will show me as long as I'm willing to embrace it.
Life is a gift/relationship denied by many (even by myself at times)....but no longer, hot stuff. I'm on to you and all that I blinded myself from seeing before.
I love you....and I'm so in love with you.