Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Coming Home ......
...... from a trip out of town, or a fun vacation or something as wonderful as, say ...... Camp Widow, can be very, very deflating.
Not to mention a bit depressing.
I absolutely hate to come home after having so much fun and connecting with so many wonderful people ...... to an empty house.
It's so difficult to leave the "safe" cocoon that is Camp Widow and return to reality.
It sometimes involves a few tears.
Or maybe even wine.
But last night, after I dumped my bags in my room and decided to completely ignore them for the rest of the evening, I sat down and uploaded a few pictures from the weekend.
And though I did feel sad, and almost depressed, I managed to avoid the tears.
As well as the chocolate.
And I had a margarita instead of wine, which just seemed to be a "happier" beverage.
Don't ask me why.
I smiled as I looked through CW pictures ...... especially the photos that other campers put on Facebook. It was like reliving the weekend ...... and feeling the love that was there.
If there's one thing I've learned in the past 5+ years, it's this:
The love you receive from others can be carried with you.
No, it's not the same as having the physical presence of that person, or those friends.
But it's still love.
And it will do.
I still carry Jim's love within me and I know I always will, as will each of my children.
And now I carry the love of more widowed people than I can name ...... just as they carry my love with them.
Yes, I'd rather have the love of my life greet me at the door when I'm coming home ...... but that's not happening.
Yes, I'd rather live in a safe, cozy neighborhood bubble with all of my widowed friends, their company and their love ...... but that's not my reality.
So instead I find myself coming home ...... to an empty house ...... but not with an empty heart.
I can't keep all of my amazing friends with me at all times ...... but I can keep their love.
And it will do.