Wednesday, May 26, 2010

In Every Cloud ....

.... there's a silver lining.
Or so they say.
Who are "they" anyway?
I'm guessing not anyone who lost their spouse.

So .... is there a silver lining in all of this?
Hmmmmm .... not really.
Not yet?

Although I guess maybe the changes in me could be considered a silver lining.
I know that time is short and that I can't take anything for granted.
I'm more laid back than I was "before".
I tend to let things roll off of my back more now.
I guess these are all positive changes that have resulted from Jim's death.

But you know what?
I'd certainly give them all back to wake up and find this has all been a nightmare.
I'd give everything up to have him back.
And everyone.

But .... that's not an option, is it?
Maybe one day I will see more of a silver lining.

Today is not that day.


  1. I know - I was just at a Remembrance Service at the hospice my husband died at. It was the 3 month mark. The chaplin refered to the transformation that grief brings and the change and growth that the mourner experiences. I wanted to yell out, "Bull Shit!" All I feel is pain and heartbreak - my world is upside down and I have no desire to live, let alone learn a lesson.

  2. I alone without your spouse takes too much effort.