Saturday, May 8, 2010

Mother's Day Memories

Our guest blogger today is Jo Rozier who lost his wife Deltha to a brain aneurysm on 3/16/2006. Jo is the single father of two teens, a founding member of our Widower Match program, and as he says, "a fellow traveler" on this road called widowhood. Thanks for sharing Jo.

Dear Kids,

Mother’s Day, our fourth since Mommy died.

So often you share your memories of Mommy with me by saying, “remember when Mommy….”

Well, so much has happened over the past three years and it seems like so much is happening right now that this Mother’s Day I wanted to share with you the things that I remember….

I’ll never forget our first Mother’s Day without Mommy? No way we were going to church or anywhere near a restaurant but we didn’t want to stay home either. That hurt too much. We agreed on going to the beach, Mommy’s favorite place. I remember walking slowing, silently near the surf and when I suddenly bend down and wrote in the sand “Happy Mother’s Day Deltha” you both came up and signed your names in the sand beneath my words. It became our “card” to Mommy.

I remember the second Mother’s Day. You awoke early, came into my room and showed me a card you’d gotten for mommy. It was one of those pop-up birthday cards. The front asked the question, “Mom, can you guess how much I love you?" Once opened, two paper arms reach way out on both sides and the card reads, “…this much!” Later we went to the cemetery and cried together at Mommy’s grave and it rained on us? It was as if the sky itself was crying with us.

I remember last year when went to church on Mother’s Day for the first time in three years and we celebrated the fact that God gave you the best Mommy ever and later gorged on our favorite takeout foods.

But you know what else I remember? I remember Mommy’s happiness when she learned that she was going to be a mommy. I remember how determined she was to be the best mommy possible. I remember the joy she experienced over every single thing you guys accomplished… walking, talking, pooping, sports, music…no matter what it was, little or big she was your biggest fan and loudest cheerleader. I remember her excitement over you growing up. I remember the prayers she said over you. I remember how much she loved you.

No matter how busy I get or how crazy things seem at times, know that not a day goes by that I don’t remember Mommy. I still love and miss her too.

Know what my favorite memory is this Mother’s Day? I remember that because God blessed you with Mommy, I now have you two. That is a memory and fact I would never change.

Happy Mother’s Day,

Love, Papa


  1. I'm not a widow, but lost my mom 5 years ago and your post brought me to tears. I miss my mom everyday, and I miss her even more now that I'm a mom. I knew she loved me, but had no idea the scope of that love until I had a child of my own. Your memories of how your girls try to get through the day and how your wife loved them is just beautiful. I wish you all the best as you continue down this difficult journey.

  2. This post is beautiful and made me cry, cry, cry. Thank you for sharing.