Very much.
But I didn't cry.
If you don't count the night before.
That was the toughest time. For me.
He should have been there.
These "big events" are both sweet .... and difficult.
I never pictured doing them without him.
Never.
But it was good.
We celebrated.
We celebrated a couple of things this weekend.
In spite of missing him.
In spite of his absence.
We are learning to celebrate again.
In spite of.
We celebrated a birthday:
And we celebrated a prom:
It's taken almost 2 and a half years, but we are learning to celebrate more than we grieve.
Don't get me wrong .... we do grieve.
Each in our own way.
But we're learning to live again.
And he would want that.
Life has a lot to offer.
I forgot that for a while.
But now I'm remembering.
I'm remembering what it is to be happy.
In spite of.
I'm remembering what is it to celebrate.
In spite of.
It's coming back to me.
Life.
One step at a time.
In spite of.
I'm not very far along in this. We also celebrated prom and graduation. (He should have been here. I'm still angry/sad.) I've also tried to deal with several other significant dates this month, including our anniversary. I'm so angry!
ReplyDeleteOne of the pages in the scrapbook I'm working on will be labeled just what you said, "He should have been there." He's missed his daughter's high school graduation, her 21st birthday, and all of college. He's missed his son's 16th birthday, band concerts, and showing him stuff dads need to teach their boys. The next scrapbook page just might be titled, "Why didn't you go to the doctor sooner?"
ReplyDelete