Saturday, February 2, 2013



When the hands of time

evict the smile from the apartment building of your face.

When you get punched in the esophagus by a fist full of life


The human heart beats approximately 4,000 times per hour

And each pulse,

each throb

each palpitation is a trophy

engraved with the words

“You are still alive”

…So act like it

-Rudy Francisco

I'm sitting at a cafe, sipping pinot noir, feeling the 62 degree air whisper on my face and blow aside my hair.

A rose-bush is blooming, people are on first dates, others with their best friends, and some soaking in the sun beams that have decided to grace us with their presence.

I remember going to a cafe like this over 5 years ago, months after Michael's death. I despised that other's could laugh, love, and live with him not here.

But today is different. I am different. I allowed time to take its toll and place its blessing.

I can sit here and listen to the"trophy" that each beat of my heart gifts me with.

I can sit here and smile while acknowledging so.

I can sit here and be. And smile. And inhale all that surrounds me. And exhale with the happiness of being able to do so.

And I can say, I don't have to act like I'm still alive...but embrace it as the glorious action it is.


  1. Thank you.I needed to be reminded how lucky I am to be alive and embrace it. Most of the time I am so afraid of my future. Scared of living again. Instead of worrying about what is ahead I need to just enjoy what is now. It is a blessing to be able to look to the future and I needed to hear it. It's been three and a half years. Life is glorious isn't it.

  2. 5 years for me. What a roller coaster ride it has been! My healing journey continues and I'm always so blessed
    reading what is posted here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.