There Have Been More Good ......

...... people in my life since Jim died than not-so-good people.

I hope that's true for all of us.

In the days following his death, my brother in law told me something that I've always remembered, and passed on to others.
"This (Jim's death) will bring out the worst in some people, and the best in others."
I have seen the very worst in a few people.  But only a few.

All of the other people in my life, which number too many to count, have been nothing but wonderful.  I have been grateful for their love and support and help since Day 1.
I would not be here without them.

And yes, life keeps moving forward and that means that even the people who love us ...... have to move forward, too.  They have to get back to their families and find their "normal" again.  Or maybe, like us, they find their "new normal".  Because the death of our loved ones affected more people than we know.  Deeply.

It's difficult to get used to our "new normal" by ourselves.  Even five years later it has its painful moments.
But sometimes ...... some very special times ...... it has moments of wonderfulness.

I found these on my doorstep today:

Someone snuck up to my door, having just barely missed me getting my mail.  They also just missed the guys picking up our trash.
And, most amazingly, they snuck in and out without setting my two large dogs off into a barking frenzy.
I still don't know how that was accomplished, let alone how I didn't notice anyone when I went out only moments before the flowers arrived.

I was very surprised.
To put it mildly.

This was with the flowers:

No signature was added.  No signed card was left.  No one rang the door bell.

But here's what this person did do:  she made my day (no, I don't know for certain that it was a she, but I'd be willing to place a rather large bet on that assumption).
She made my week.
Heck, she made my month.

I've always had wonderful people in my life.
And I still do.

In spite of the past 5 years ...... or maybe because of them ......
I am blessed.

And ...... I feel blessed.

And for the first time in five years, I don't feel sad or even angry that Valentine's Day is tomorrow.  Yes, I wish my Valentine were here.  I know we all do.  But for the first time, I feel glad for all of those who do have their loved one.  I hope they take the time to tell them how loved, appreciated and "not taken for granted" they are.  I hope they make the most of every minute with each other.

These flowers didn't make my feelings change about this holiday.  I had already realized that I didn't feel the same way this year.
But the flowers, and more importantly, the person who brought them ...... reinforced my wishes for other couples.
Besides that ...... she made me smile.
All day long.

So thank you ...... whoever you are (I have my suspicions:)
Thank you for thinking of me.

Actually ...... thank you for remembering me.
It means more than you know.
:)