Sunday, September 19, 2010


Ezra and Pallas with Art, in the box with the ribbon

We're at the ranch.
It's my cousin's place.
90 acres
horses, sheep, ponds, creeks

It's our second home. It's the place where we escape our noisy city lives. It's the place Art wanted to be sprinkled. I left part of him her in May 09, 1 month after his death. I left him in a box. That was placed above my cousin's book shelf.

Today was time to take some of him home to LA. And then spread him out here, down by the creek his favorite place at the ranch.

Ezra and Pallas wanted to see his ashes. So they took the box and sat outside with it.
We opened the box. And then Ezra touched his father.

"I want to keep some of the ashes with me." he said.

"That way I can keep daddy forever."


  1. I buried my husband's ashes as per his wishes, but now - nearly five years later - our daughter has the occasional pangs of regret about it. She wishes we still had them. She is of the opinion we should bury bits of her dad everywhere we spend chunks of time. Our new home in Canada, my hometown back in Iowa. That way, he is always "at hand".

    I am of the opinion that it really doesn't matter. Though he is buried in a cemetery that is logistically out of our way now, it's better than having him end up on a shelf in the basement - like my second husband's late wife has (though her ashes have been buried here and there per her wishes as all - there is just a lot of ashes left. Who knew?)

    My daughter has locks of hair. This seems to satisfy her. Your son will have ashes. Ultimately what will matter most in are the memories, but children need tangibles until then.

  2. Your post brought tears to my eyes.

  3. Not sure if you have ever heard of it. But there is cremation jewerly. I have a bracelet of my boyfriend. It looks just like a regular bangle bracelet and I get so many compliments about it and no one ever realizes that a small portion of the remains of the love of my life is in it. It's a way that I can keep him with me all the time. I am also spreading some of his remains at our favorite place in Florida on his birthday. this is the link for the bracelet that I have if you would like. (they have lockets as well)

  4. This is beautiful - your words really touched my heart. Thank you.

  5. My husband's ashes have been spread as per his wishes but my kids and I kept a small portion, which I put in beautiful cremains containers that I bought online. When we need to feel that tangible contact, it's there and when we don't, they're in the background. When we first got the carved wood cremains containers (which hold an battery run tealight), my sons used it as a nightlight for a long time. Now they don't, but it still holds extreme importance to them. I also have a cremains necklace, which I wear when I need a touchstone. The tangibles can be important.