Sunday, June 30, 2013

The Dress

This week I am at Camp Widow West (Woop!).

Since I’m at camp I’ll save my typing (on my phone) and will spill the beans next week about my experience at camp.

This week I want to share something I have been thinking about.

For Camp Widow I HAD to have an amazing dress.. well in my head I thought I had to have the perfect dress. 

With limited funds and a sense of panic, an amazing person came to my rescue. 

I was given a dress that had never been worn.

This wasn't just a dress. It was THE dress. 

This dress was more amazing then I envisioned. When I put it on, I carefully did a little twirl, skip and a hop.

This dress made me feel.. Important.

When I sent it in to be altered I had extreme anxiety about it.

What if they mess up my dress? What if I have to find another dress right before camp? What if? What if?

It dawned on me I had more anxiety over my Camp Widow dress getting altered then I did my wedding dress.
Me enjoying my wedding dress - 2005

Why? I don’t know. I guess because if my wedding dress was wrong, I was still getting married either way.. even if I had to wear pajama’s.

But my Camp Widow dress? I couldn't just show up in my pajama’s… 
well they would have accepted me no matter what I was wearing, but in my head, this was (is) a huge event.

I've been thinking about how some of my favorite memories involve me wearing a big fancy dress. Prom, my wedding and now.. camp widow.

I realized I very rarely get to wear a fancy dress. There are very few occasions to wear one to.

There are very few occasions where dancing the night away in a fancy dress is a given.

So now I get to brag and show off my dress!!

Tada!! Aren't you amazed? Yah I know, me too!!

Okay, I am done bragging.

To the person that donated this dress to me… thank you for the bottom of my soul. The dress has become a part of me. Every time I see it hanging up in my closet I will always remember the amazing memories made at Camp Widow. I promise you, one day I will pay it forward. 
I will help a widow in need, even if it means passing this dress on. So Thank You!!


  1. so i just found this blog. i am a new widow (8 mths) and can't believe i have to write that im a widdow... just coming out of stunned disbelief. looking for something... support, understanding, advice ? i'm not sure what iim looking for but will try here. i have done things i didn't know how to do stupid simple things but my DH always did them and no one is impressed that i learned how to get the screens into the windews after removing the storm windews, or that i was able to go into the attic to bag up some of his out of season clothes to give to Sandy storm victums etc. or that i can't move his shoes from under the chair where he laid his clothes. yet.

    1. Bethann,
      I'm so sorry that you have a reason to come to this site, but since you do, I'm glad that you found us.
      I know that you hate the word "widow", and really hate the thought that that word describes you. But I think that you will find, in a year or so, that "widow" will mean something different to you. It will one day mean that you are a survivor. You have survived the worst experience that a person can have. And you're still here.
      You deserve to be proud of all of the things you've accomplished. Heck, I'm proud of you!
      Please just try to take things one day at a time. You have no time table to work with. Just do the things you want to do..... When you feel like doing them. And only when you feel like it.
      This is your journey and no one else's. What you do and when you do it is totally up to you ...... and only you.
      Hang in there.
      And keep breathing.

  2. Bethann,
    Post your accomplishments in the three good things section of the site. There will be someone there to cheer you on. We get it. It is good to celebrate all accomplishments. I am impressed about the screens. It is one day at a time.

    I love your dress for the banquet.

    You are always an inspiration.

    Maria O.

  3. You look beautiful and Im SO happy we finally met!!!

  4. I am just 3 months into this journey and feel very much like bethann - I just fixed a broken wheel on my shower door (with the help of the home depot guy's advice) with a mix of elation that I did it, and anger that Jerry isn't here to take care of this, as he did with most things. Just pumping gas and taking out trash (yes I was a princess) are tasks new to me since he did everything so I wouldn't have to. anyway, thanks so much to those of you further along the journey for reaching back to us who are new and feel raw..