I have nothing to write.
I had a completely relaxing day.
I dropped Langston off at school for his game
and on the way home
I cried so hard I had to pull over.
Art's death is just so fundamentally sad.
All that he is missing is just tragic!
And yet...
I returned later, and watched Langston play flag football.
I took my other two to play dates.
I took care of myself.
Watched two movies
Flirted with a guy via email
and then went to two neighbors houses
had drinks and laughs.
Kids are now in bed.
All part of a normal day.
I think about him every day.
Every single day
and yet
it doesn't stop me from living
It doesn't interfere with my rising from the ashes
....or flirting.
This is the new normal is
And I'm OK with it.
The other day as I was leaving the grocery store I caught a whiff of aftershave scent and realized that it was the aftershave that my husband always wore. Have not smelled that scent on another man in nearly 5 years. Had all I could do not to attack the poor fellow wearing it. Their memories are never far away it seems.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I thought I was going nuts...ready to have a good day then overwhelmed with sadness for a while then laughing later! Perhaps I am more normal than I realized, thank God. Sandy
ReplyDeleteSo true, sounds like my new normal!
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