Thursday, October 27, 2011
Stop the world
... I want to get off for a few hours.
Just a few hours so I can sleep, catch up on housework, catch up on schoolwork, maybe even read my book, and just veg out for a while.
Just a few hours where I don't have to make anyone a meal, break up any fights, look after my own or other people's children.
Just a few hours where I don't have to feel that constant worry of whether my contract will be renewed next year, or whether I can stretch the bank balance to cover the upcoming summer holidays where I won't get much pay.
Just a few hours so I can have a good cry and a decent sleep and be back on deck.
Back at the helm of this barely floating ship of a life.
Greg wasn't exactly the most domestic of husbands - when we became parents we fell into the age-old roles of him being the main breadwinner, and me being a kid-wrangler/cook/cleaner.
So he did the "boy" jobs - mowing the lawn, keeping the cars in running order, fixing the dryer...
.... but every so often, he's see me get tired and cook a meal or do the laundry.
and I never really valued that cup of coffee that I didn't have to make myself or that greasy fry-up that he made for dinner.
But just now, I really wish someone would bring me a coffee. Make the kid's beds. Even just DECIDE what I should cook the kids for dinner would be such a help.
Just so I could rest for a short while and set down the weight of the world for a while.