Thursday, October 27, 2011

Stop the world

... I want to get off for a few hours.

Just a few hours so I can sleep, catch up on housework, catch up on schoolwork, maybe even read my book, and just veg out for a while.

Just a few hours where I don't have to make anyone a meal, break up any fights, look after my own or other people's children.

Just a few hours where I don't have to feel that constant worry of whether my contract will be renewed next year, or whether I can stretch the bank balance to cover the upcoming summer holidays where I won't get much pay.

Just a few hours so I can have a good cry and a decent sleep and be back on deck.

Back at the helm of this barely floating ship of a life.

Greg wasn't exactly the most domestic of husbands - when we became parents we fell into the age-old roles of him being the main breadwinner, and me being a kid-wrangler/cook/cleaner.

So he did the "boy" jobs - mowing the lawn, keeping the cars in running order, fixing the dryer...

.... but every so often, he's see me get tired and cook a meal or do the laundry.

and I never really valued that cup of coffee that I didn't have to make myself or that greasy fry-up that he made for dinner.

But just now, I really wish someone would bring me a coffee. Make the kid's beds. Even just DECIDE what I should cook the kids for dinner would be such a help.

Just so I could rest for a short while and set down the weight of the world for a while.


  1. ((HUGS)) Amanda, I'm right there with you! I was just feeling the SAME way. There is no break for me (us) work, school, kids, house, in my case, my mother-in-law. Seems I am always pitching in to help give someone else a break, when in fact I need one badly.
    Trying not to feel guilty about it, here is my plan to give myself a break: I'm making it a POINT to not plan anything for next weekend. Going to take my dogs to the beach, eat boardwalk fries and drink a chocolat shake. Without feeling bad about it, I'm letting my mother take my daughter to New York, a trip I would LOVE to take. Just going to do it! You should do something just for yourself too! Just do it!

  2. Amanda,
    get the kids involved in planning meals, they are never too young to help. Make one night a week their choice, could be soup and sandwich, something easy. I made a list of meals to choose from, that way it is easier to plan when shopping, and you don't really have to think about what to have. Dole out some small chores for them too, yes, they will not do them up to your standards, but so what?

    Like anon above, I have a planned a much needed break, a facial , first one ever, going with a friend. Time for me for a change. Those walks on the beach (or in the woods) are soothing to the soul, too, get out in nature, with or without the kids. I agree, the chore list looks daunting at times, but prioritize it, and do them as needed.

    Take care of yourself, it will get easier.

  3. Sounds like you need some serious time to yourself. Do you have a parent or other relative who will keep your kids for a weekend? So you can sleep in and not have kids demanding your time? You need a major break from the daily grind!

  4. Big hugs. I wish I was closer, I'd make you that coffee and chuck the kids in the car for a McDinner and play while you had a break.