This is Daniel's "mini-me". People who didn't know Daniel will often tell me how much he looks like me...but it's only partially true. My little G is so much like his Dad that it makes me laugh out loud. Others don't always have the same reaction though.I think for some, G's resemblance and similar behavior is hard to take. At least that is what I assume. Recently Grayson told me he thinks a family member doesn't really like him. I told him I don't think that is true at all. I explained to him that I think it is just sometimes hard for people to be around him because they miss his Dad so much, and he reminds them of it. He's a super empathetic kid, so he got the concept right away. "So I make them kind of sad?" he asked. "I think both of us do" I responded. He didn't take it personally and seemed relieved that there was a reasonable explanation. As sad as it is, I think my explanation is true. It's been 6 years and the wounds for all of us aren't always as healed as we'd like them to be.
It's sad, but I guess it is what it is. Most of the time he doesn't notice or ask those kinds of questions and I'm grateful for that. He's a happy kid and tends to notice the good in life and overlook the bad. I'm trying to learn from him...he's got a good perspective on things.
WOW this is so true. My brother in laws don't talk to me anymore and I spoke to my counselor about it. Then when I look at my life I realized that a lot of stuff that should happen doesn't because I make people feel sad. They miss my husband as well, and I just bring that feeling up front where they have to deal with it. It's a little bit funny to think about it when we are the ones who have lost the most, our husbands, fathers. What surprises me is how others would rather sweep the loss under the carpet and not deal with it, and yet we deal with it every day of our lives. It just goes to show you who is stronger in life. We are, the ones who have lost the most. I do not mean to offend anyone, I wrote this quickly and I may have expressed myself in a manner that others would not appreciate. If you are one of those I'm sorry but the words just aren't there yet. Maybe tomorrow.
ReplyDeletemsgwife - i have thought exactly that a hundred times...what a luxury to be able to avoid a person or two and not deal with the loss. Must be nice to hide sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you posted this. It made some things make a lot more sense and me, perhaps, a bit more empathic. Still hurts though.
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